Post by THE SNITCH on Apr 14, 2013 13:16:08 GMT -8
| [atrb=style,width: 420px; background-color: efefef; background-image: url(http://i.imgur.com/6jh1H.png); padding: 5px, bTable] THESNITCH@GOSSIP.COM Award season has come and gone, but stars aren’t the only people who deserve to be acknowledged for that they do best. Yes, my dears, I’ve been watching and I know everything. As I so solemnly promised years ago, your secrets are never safe with me. Haven’t you learned? You can’t escape me, mentioned below or not. Unfortunately, I don’t have sparklers or Ted the bear to announce the winners, so you’ll just have to play along. Not that you’ll need it. You say you hate me, but deep down, I know you crave to see the downfall of your enemies as much as I do. So let’s not delay. The awards go to… BIGGEST SLUT: DANIELLA ROSEWOOD I’m not sure how well the rest of you know about Liam Kealey’s affair with our biggest slut, but it’s not terribly difficult to explain. Miss Daniella was dating Kurt Carrigan and decided one wasn’t enough. In such an honest career as a burlesque dancer, I guess we can’t be surprised. BIGGEST MANWHORE: SKYLAR GORDON With a name like Skylar, our biggest manwhore was obviously the pick of the bunch. Don’t be disillusioned, however. It takes more than a girly name to gain such recognition. Mr. Gordon has been seen around town jumping on anything with a pulse. Many students know him as the foxy soccer coach at Brunswick High. For others? Well, let’s just say Zoey Sutton and Charlotte Duffy aren’t strangers to him. Let your imaginations run wild, my loyal followers. MOST BATSHIT CRAZY: ARIANNA FAIRMONT P-p-please, this g-girl c-can’t even s-sa-say a proper s-sentence without s-st-stuttering. I’ve heard of several methods to get a guy to stay, but no one have I heard of faking a few nightmares to get a little face time with the bodyguard daddy “hired.” Watch out, John Holden—or should I call you Jack? The last place you need to be wandering in after the war is CrazyTown. BIGGEST PRUDE: CHLOE LOWE Oh, Chloe, the props I give you for snagging Beau Miller. High school crushes can be a bitch, especially if you knew the story behind Beau that I do. Maybe he’ll tell you about it, and if not, I’d be willing to. Let me offer you a bit of an advice from someone who knows the town like the back of a hand. You want to keep him? Cuddling up in car seats isn’t going to cut it for long. BIGGEST POSER: VALERIE FISHER On the surface, everyone can see Valerie Fish is probably one of the most selfish, egotistical bitches at Brunswick High. I don’t buy it for a second. I see an insecure little girl, someone who feeds off of negative attention to make up for her lack of meat in other areas. So why is she the biggest poser? Well, it takes a bitch to know one and she’s not it. BIGGEST BITCH: TALIA KEALEY Talia qualifies, though like Valerie, her anger might stem from a world of betrayal. Is it just me or has the heat in Brunswick raised since Talia came to live with her dear, old brother Liam Kealey? His leaving act may not be the only fault at hand, either. Mr. Jack Bailey and Talia are rumored hook-up partners and grade A sexters. While Talia is all eyes for the law-enforcing hunk, Jack’s eyes seem to be locked on Jacqueline Armstrong. Poor, poor baby. First your brother, now your crush. It’s no wonder you’re so cold. How does it feel to be nothing more than a nice time in the bedroom? BIGGEST DIPSHIT: HARLOW KPILING Think about the most annoying, forgetful person you know—for me, that’s Harlow Kipling. If Daniella Rosewood hadn’t filled the position for “slut” already, I’d say Harlow is a fair runner-up. When Miss Kipling isn’t drooling after Beau Miller, she fills her time with none other than our Most Forgettable winner, Abel Adams, and boxing hunk Atticus Briars. Honey—face the music. He’s just not that into you, and if you don’t decide to get your shit together, I’m sure another girl—or guy—would be thrilled to pick up your sloppy seconds. MOST FORGETTABLE: ABEL ADAMS How’s it feel to be the one people settle for, Abel? Your love for Tolstoy and his buddies is so 1800’s. If anyone knows the limitations of life, it’d certainly be you. It’s your life to finish living, but if I were you, I’d get your head out of the past and look to the future while you still have it. Or not. BIGGEST ATTENTION WHORE: ZOEY SUTTON It’s such a shame when a pretty face becomes wasted by desperation. There’s a particularly popular YouTube channel led by our very own attention whore Zoey Sutton. It’s one thing to shine among friends. It’s another thing altogether to pine for the admiration of millions across the globe. Babe, you don’t have to try so hard. If attention is what you want, I’m sure Kurt Carrigan would be happy to have a pretty girl like you on the poles at Attrait. BEST LIAR: AVERY MACINTYRE Oh, Avery, I hate to be just another fan, but I must say, you juggle dishonesty like a pro. Now I know it's against a magician's policy to show and tell, so for now, mum's the word. Careful, though. Sooner or later someone will grow tired of your dirty deeds, and I'll be one of the first in line to spill it all. Congratulations to all the winners. You’ve outdone all of my fears and more! Without you, your fellow Brunswick citizens would be without proper entertainment. You may laugh and roll your eyes. Go ahead. Leave me some love in the comments and I may just spare you next time another blog post comes along. I won’t promise a truce, but I can promise this: from now on, your lives will be far from smooth sailing. Toodles. Xoxo. LEAVE A COMMENT QUOTE THE CODE BELOW QUOTE THE CODE BELOW QUOTE THE CODE BELOW Have a few things you'd like to dish to The Snitch? Feel free to do so anonymously or on a character's account. Also be sure to send in tips to The Snitch's account (username: snitch) to get your juicy drama recognized! |
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