Post by karson lyndon knox on Mar 13, 2013 19:35:17 GMT -8
| [atrb=style,width: 420px; background-color: efefef; background-image: url(http://i.imgur.com/6jh1H.png); padding: 5px, bTable] KARSON L. KNOX 24 | STRAIGHT | KNOX PUBLISHINGS COO | LOCAL | NICO TORTORELLA THE INTERVIEW HELLO. THANKS FOR COMING IN TODAY. SHALL WE START WITH YOUR NAME? Good evening, ma'am. I'm Karson Lyndon Knox, the first of my name. I can't really say I have too many nicknames. Kar and Kars are the most common. There was another one... slightly more embarrassing. Austen, my girlfriend, ex girlfriend, used to call me Karsie. Other than that my name's pretty short in itself, so it's slightly difficult to come up with new ones. THAT'S A NICE NAME. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING? Well, technically I'm an Air Force veteran. Yeah, I was released on honorable discharge after the accident. So I was in the service for a few years, but as of right now I'm the Chief Operating Officer for my father's publishing company. Meaning I just take care of a big chunk of the company and report to the CEO of the company. I can't say that I really love my job, but I wasn't too sure what I was supposed to do after I was released from the service. My parents offered me a job, so I took it. I'm a fast learner. I can adapt to things fairly easily, so I guess I'm a good man for the job, but I'd much rather be doing something else. Sitting behind a desk and answering calls isn't exactly my strong suit. INTERESTING. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN? What do I do for fun? As in, what do I do when I'm not working? Basically I enjoy doing pretty much anything other than actual work. I like to play football, read, talk to friends, and play music. Maybe I should elaborate a little more for you? Sorry if I'm coming off a little curt, but my mind gets a little scatterbrained if I think about too many things at once. So we'll start with sports. As I'm sure you could have guessed, I'm a pretty athletic person. If I wasn't, there's no way I would have enlisted. Now, however, I just like hanging around the lake, playing a game with some friends. Reading is another big hobby of mine. When I've got some quiet time on my hands I like to just sit down and read a good book. Genre doesn't really matter. I'll read pretty much anything you give me. My brain his like a sponge. It just keeps absorbing all sorts of information and is always craving more. Then there's music. Piano is probably my favorite instrument. I like how light and crisp the keys sound, but can produce a haunting melody. I've known how to play ever since I was four, but I really only started to take serious interest a few years ago. Whenever I can't think straight I'll just sit on the bench and play out a few pieces. most times that helps calm my nerves. WOULD YOU SAY THOSE ACTIVITIES REFLECT WHO YOU ARE? Only slightly. Just barely actually. I'm more of a complex person than I really let on. there's always so much going on in my head that sometimes not even my closest of friends can begin to comprehend what's going on upstairs. So, please bare with me if I get a little off track at times. Now, where to start? I guess we can start off with me saying that I like to see myself as a good person. I've always liked to help people, ever since I can remember. Most would call me selfless even, which is the exact opposite of my parents. Actually, that's probably the best and only way to describe me. I am everything my parents are not. They enjoy to spend their money on themselves. They practically role in it while there are people out there, begging for change. And that always bothered me. Their selfishness. How could they just sit back and look down on those who aren't as fortunate? I never understood it and I actually started to loath them for it. There were often times where I'd get into arguments with them about it and they'd scold me for not showing the proper sort of respect that they thought themselves and their rich friends deserved. Of course I wasn't a complete asshole to them because they are my parents and elders, but I've never had a problem with voicing my opinions on things. I'm not going to sit back and let others disrespect someone else simply because they feel they're entitled to. That sort of ignorance I will not stand for. Not from my parents. Not from anyone. So I can be relied on to stick up for the weak I suppose. There were too many times when I had to stick up for my girl- ex girlfriend. I wasn't ashamed of her like they were. I don't judge people by their status. It's what's on the inside that really matters to me and I don't care how ridiculously sappy that might sound, but it couldn't be any more true. Sorry... That was mouthful. What else? God, my head hurts right now. I enjoy the piano. I said that right? And my mind is like a sponge. It's always been that way. I'm way too smart for my own good. Or at least that's what everyone tells me. I only have to read things a few times before I remember it or do something a few times before I really get the hang of it. I've always been that way. Sometimes it can be a good thing, other times... not so much. You see, my head gets so cluttered with information that I can't piece my thoughts together. Like now for example. There's so many things I want to say but I'm not sure how to say them. Sometimes I just need to take a second to think things over before I actually let the words leave my mouth. It's frustrating. It really is, but when I'm under a lot of stress I can't really help it. It's not so bad when I've got a good grip on things, so that's good I guess. But when I'm frustrated or I have a lot on my plate, I just feel like my head will explode at any second. The only person that I've ever known who has really been able to help me calm down the chaos in my head was Austen... but I lost her years ago. I'd been a coward when I found out about her addiction. What she was doing scared me. I didn't know how to fix it. I didn't know how to fix her. I wanted to, but how? I loved her so much. So fucking much- pardon my French. But I did. She was everything to me. I even had a tattoo in her honor. Not that I'd told her about it... but yeah. She was the only person I ever really loved and cared about. You know... I'd even been planning on proposing to her after she graduated... I had the ring and everything. It never left my pocket and now it never leaves the necklace I wear. Wow. I'm so sorry. I just got so off topic. Please forgive me. Though I've always had a bit of a problem with keeping my thoughts organized, I think my time in the Air Force really messed me up. After crashing my jet, things have been kind of crazy. I have to write stuff down most of the time so I don't forget things or so I can piece everything together. Also, have a hard time sleeping. The doctors all tell me I suffer from a minor case of PTSD. They made me talk about the war. The things I've seen. I don't really like talking about it. So they just prescribed me with some sleeping meds because I'm the worst at night. Always tossing and turning. All that good stuff. I never told anyone about that though. I don't want people looking at me differently because I suffer from night terrors. I don't want them to feel bad because the things I've done haunt me in my dreams. So I just don't tell anyone. Aside from my therapist. Which is also a secret of mine. Who would respect a guy who was borderline crazy? Alright. This is it, I swear. I'm not all as crazy as I seem. I can be normal. I actually like to be normal. I hang out with friends and I'm fine. When I'm out doing normal things, I actually feel okay. My head works fine, I laugh, smile, and have a good time. I actually love going out to the bar or just anything really. If my mind his busy with things other than work or anything stressful, I'm fine. Fun even. I've got a good sense of humor and an easy going sort if air about me. A good friend as well. I'm always there for those I hold close to my heart and they're always there for me, dragging me out of my cave to go to a party or just a friendly hangout session. The only issue I have really is when it comes to love. As I'm sure you probably noted when I lost it a few minutes ago... I'm still completely and foolishly in love with my... with Austen, the girl I left behind. Even four years after leaving her, she still owns all of my heart and I doubt that will ever change. Sure I've tried to move on, but I can't. Her face is the only one I see. The only one I want to see. If only I hadn't been so stupid... If only I'd stayed... COOL BEANS. THEY SAY YOUR FAMILY SHAPES WHO YOU ARE. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOURS? Oh wow. You really want me to talk about my parents? Well, if it's absolutely necessary... My parents and I have never seen eye to eye. Not once. Actually, we might have when I was little and didn't know any better, but when I started to think for myself? Yeah, the shit they stand for doesn't fucking fly with me. Around the age of twelve was when I started to get a little irritated with how they treated people from different social classes, but of course I continued to treat them with respect. I mean, they are my parents, so I do owe them some respect to a certain extent. They were proud of my of course. I was a bright student, focused hard on school, but once I let Austen into my life, things changed between my parents and I. Arguments were a dime a dozen. They were either displeased with Austen herself or the fact that I was bringing her along as my date to some charity even or what have you. I wasn't showing enough respect to their rich friends and was bringing shame to the family. You know, all that lovely stuff that comes from your parents being assholes. So, needless to say, we don't get along all that well. But they trust me. I'm intelligent, charming, and very business savy. The perfect man to take control of their company. Still, I'm not the highest ranking position, but I imagine I'll get there eventually. Then... uh... oh! There's Nymeria. She's my beautiful little puppy that I got right after I woke up from my coma and was healthy enough to go live with my parents for a bit. She's the most gorgeous little thing ever. I also have a chameleon named Rizo. He's pretty laid back. AND YOUR LIFE? TELL ME ABOUT YOUR PAST. I'M EAGER TO HEAR. Okay, let me just give you a fair warning. I'm willing to tell you all about my past, but you're going to have to bare with me. It's going to be a lot to say in so little time, so my thoughts are going to go a bit haywire. Just let me know when I stop making sense. Alright. Here we go. So, I was born to Adrian and Lila Knox. Both of my parents are on the richer side of life. My mother being a highborn socialite turned fashion designer and my father a business man. The two were a power couple in high school. All the rage back then. A stereotypical 'popular' couple wo fondled one another and blew off so much money on pointless gifts that are probably sitting in the attic somewhere. Anyway, they'd finished their college years together and soon got engaged. They traveled the world together, then established themselves in the big city of New York. Pretty much living your average life, but with a bit more money to spend. A few years after they were hitched, I became the product of their love for one another. Born on a nice autumn night. September eleventh to be exact. Anywho, I can't remember too much of my younger years. I don't even recall living in New York to be quite honest. My parents decided they wanted to move a little further away, to nestle down in a smaller, more quiet town. Brunswick ended up being the ideal spot for them to raise their son. My father managed the business from home via the internet and my mother continued sketching designs for her clothing line. I, on the other hand, was cared for by some hired nanny or babysitter, whichever rolls of the tongue easier for you. My parents loved me, sure, but they didn't have the time to spend with me. Often times I would be left to my own devices, but only after my parents had given me a daily lesson on how lucky I was or spoiled me with some new gift. As if they could by my affection. Yeah, look how that turned out. So yeah, can't remember much from before I started going to school. I know most kids don't really like having to wake up early and all that, but I rather enjoyed it. Going to school gave me something to do and even from a very young age I was a fast learner. Reading and writing was a breeze, then came math, social studies, and everything else. I was also pretty popular among the other kids I guess. My last name give me automatic access to the higher parts of the food chain, and I'd accepted it but not for the reasons you'd think. I was popular, yes. Was I an asshole? No. I talked to who I wanted when I wanted to talk to them. I kept my friends in check. They always knew better than to talk shit about people when I was around, because I would quickly get them to shut the hell up. I always hated people who spread rumors and talked about people they didn't even know. But other than that, I got along with almost everyone. Teachers and students alike. Then I met Austen. I'd known her since we were little, but never actually talked to her before. One of my favorite teachers explained to me that one of her students was having a hard time getting a grip on her math lessons and was wondering if I'd be willing to try and tutor her. Of course I said yes and that was how I met her. She was a feisty little thing. Even at the tender age of eleven. At first I didn't know what to make of her. She was a cute girl with a lot of spirit. I'd instantly admired that about her. But I was there to teach her math. And so I did. During those tutoring sessions though... I think the two of us connected. I found myself looking for her in the hallways, trying to find other reasons to speak to her. Eventually we drifted back a part as we got older and I moved on to high school, her staying behind a year for eighth grade... but that's not where our story ends. Not at all. Freshmen year was a breeze for me. I passed with a 4.0 GPA, continued making friends, and all that lovely stuff that comes along with being a teenager. Things were also getting worse with my parents since I was really starting to disagree with their views on things, but I'll get into that a bit later. Anyway, during sophomore year, Austen and I really started to get close. She'd just moved over to the highschool and naturally, I was really excited and surprised to see her. She looked so different from when I last saw her. Still as lovely and fiery as ever though. I found myself gravitating towards her despite everyone else's warnings not to. Again, as I told you before, I never really listen to what people tell me to do unless it makes sense. It didn't make sense for me to stay away from her simply because she was 'different'. So I didn't and that ended up being the best decision of my life. Austen and I started dating during the middle of my sophomore year and I honestly couldn't have been any happier. I'm not going to call it love, but it eventually turned into that. We became the envy of ever couple in town. All except my parents. This was when things really got ugly. They loathed Austen. She wasn't from the same sort of background I was from. She didn't have money, nice clothes, or even a car for the matter. They constantly reminded me of such things and I threw it all in their faces. I honestly didn't give a fuck about where she came from or what she did or didn't have. All I cared about was her. It was the person she was that had me falling head over heels in love with her. They couldn't see that though, and never did. Not that I ever cared. Austen was perfect in my eyes. She still is. Always will be. Though I'm pretty sure she's out there hating me somewhere. Or maybe she's forgotten about me completely. Who knows. Anyway, things were pretty perfect between the two of us. We were crazy in love. Anyone could see it. She made things easier for me. My thoughts were always crystal clear with her by my side and she always knew how to calm me down when I was getting a little too frustrated. I really did love her. With all my heart. So much so that I'd even put off going to college so I could wait for her to graduate high school. After that, we could tackle the world together. We could be together forever and just live without caring what everyone else thought about us. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Yes, I'd only been nineteen at the time, but sometimes you just know when something was meant to be. And that's what it was like with her. I knew I was supposed to be with her. So I bought a ring. Yes. I bought and engagement ring. The plan was to propose after taking her out to celebrate her graduation. I'd been looking forward to that day for months, but it never came. I didn't stick around long enough to see it happen. For a while, I'd noticed things becoming different between us. She was started to change. At first I didn't know what was wrong. I was so confused. Was it my fault? Did I do something wrong? Did something just randomly change between us? The answer to that was both a yes and a no. What I found out was that Austen had started doing heroin. Why? She never told me. I didn't ask. Maybe I did in the yelling match that went down before I left, but she never gave me an answer and I never asked her to marry me. I was too afraid. I thought it was my fault she was going down this path. Maybe the stress of having to impress my parents was getting to her? Maybe she thought she wasn't good enough? I didn't know. I still don't. So I left. I packed up my bags and ran. You can only imagine how horrible my head was treating me. So many thoughts and all at one time. Too many emotions for my body to process all at once. My heart was breaking in my chest at a painfully slow rate. Ever inch put between us caused another crack in it. That was by far the most painful experience of my life, but I'd already left. I'd already ruined everything. There was no way I could turn around and go back to her. After that, I honestly had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I tried college, but I wasn't functioning properly. What I needed was a serious distraction. So you know what I did? I enlisted. Yeah. I was never really the violent type, but at least by joining the military I could move from place to place, work hard, and just forget. That's exactly what I did. I trained to become a jet pilot, leanred to fight, and all of the stuff that comes along with that. Because of my being a quick learner, it wasn't long before they put into action. I can't really talk much about what sort of work I did. It's classified information. But I can tell you it was pretty violent stuff. I doubt you'd want to have to sit through that anyway. For four years I did what they told me. Got stuck in some dangerous situations but I'd always been able to pull myself out of it. All my mind knew at that point was how to follow orders. Austen was just a vauge memory in the back of my mind. Until she started to haunt my dreams. Her face was mingled with a lot of explosions and violence that kept me up at night. Now, I guess I should tell you about the accident? The one that got be sent home on honorable discharge. Well, I can't say I remember much about it. All I know was that I'd been flying my jet. Everything was perfectly fine. Then something malfunctioned in the engine and it was sent up in flames. As horrified as I was, I reacted accordingly, looking for a place to make a crash landing. I can't tell you exactly what happened because I don't remember what happened during the few minutes before I hit the ground. I was hospitalized for a solid few weeks after that. I was in a coma. My brain and body had suffered some pretty serious damage. It was a miracle that I'd even survived at all. But I did and it was a horribly slow recovery process. Scars and burns cover parts of my body, but that was hardly the worst of it. The nightmares were the worst. I couldn't sleep. Not ever. Not when all I can see at night are explosings, people dying, friends dying. The doctors didn't have a hard time figuring that one out though. What I had was a minor case of PTSD. There's really no known way to fix it, so they prescribed me some sleeping pills and recommened me to see a therapist. After that, I was given a clean bill of health and told to be on my way. But the thing was... I had no where to go. No friends. Hadn't talked to my parents in ages... but they were all I had left. So a few months after trying to figure out what I wanted to do with myself, I finally gave in to their offer and accepted the job at my father's company. I even bought a house in Brunswick, my hometown. The town might be small, but it was a sight for sore eyes. Never once in my life did I ever think I'd be so happy to be back home. But I was. Because it brought back memories. Memories of her. The girl who I'd once loved so passionately. The girl who still owns my heart. Austen. The girl I'd once planned on marrying. What about a secret? Everyone has a secret. My secret is plain and simple. I'm crazy. Well, not really crazy, but I have night terrors because of my PTSD and I have to see a therapist for it. You have no idea how ashamed of this I am. A grown man who's afraid of what he sees in the dark? A grown man who was to talk about things in order to feel better? Yeah, no one can ever know about that because I'll never get better. There's no fixing me and I don't want anyone to look at me differently because of it.. ALRIGHT. TIME'S ALMOST UP. TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DREAMS. QUICK! I don't really have any. Not anymore. I don't know where I want to go with my or what I want to do with it. Maybe all I really want is to recover from my PTSD. Doubt that'll ever be possible though. So I guess what I'm hoping for right now is to successfully run my parents company. A horrible answer, I know. I apologize for that, but I'm not too sure what else to tell you. I guess I'm hoping to some day give this ring on my necklace to it's rightful owner, but I haven't spoken to her in over four years. The odds of that ever happening are unbelievably thin. AND THAT'S A WRAP. IT WAS NICE GETTING TO KNOW YOU. The pleasure was all mine. I hope my ramblings didn't confuse you too deeply, but it was pleasant all the same. I rather enjoyed talking to you. Have a delightful evening. BEHIND THE MASK LEAH | SIXTEEN | EASTERN | SOMEWHERE | BEAU & DANI C: |
