BROOK, NOLAN TIMOTHY

[NOLAN TIMOTHY BROOK]

[atrb=style,width: 420px; background-color: efefef; background-image: url(http://24.media.tumblr.com/0478144b9f16c95a37367d1aca56b45c/tumblr_mkfax8tDxp1s97ldco1_500.png); padding: 5px, bTable] NOLAN T. BROOK 16 | STRAIGHT GAY | JUNIOR | HIGH SCHOOL | CALEB LANDRY JONES HOW CAN I MEASURE UP TO ANYONE NEW AFTER SUCH A LOVE AS THIS? WHO ARE YOU? His breathing was heavy and struggled while he leaned against the brick wall, crouching with his hands covering his face. Blood pooled down his chin and was dropping onto his shirt and shoes and the floor. "Sweetie, are you okay?" a voice asked, a voice a bit too deep to be a woman's. It didn't match the feminine appearance that the person had. He looked up and pushed hair off of his face. "I'm...I'm fine," he waved off. "Come on, we'll get you cleaned off." There were five of them, incredibly tall and broad women with big hair and a lot of make up. It wasn't until that one of them had put an arm around his shoulder and started leading him along when he realized they weren't really women. "I'm Nolan," he finally said. Cher, Anita, Tyra, Dixie and Madison were their names. With his long ginger hair and his full mouth and a body coated in freckles, Nolan stands out among his friends but blends in among his family. In a lot of ways he's your basic teenage boy. Sixteen years old and drifting from part time job to part time job, currently working at the ticket booth at Eveningstar Cinema. He's involved in his school's theatre productions and he spends a great deal of time with his friends. He's the second oldest child and the oldest boy. He's a notorious chain smoker. He's allergic to bees. He thoroughly enjoys comic books and sides with Marvel. I STROLLED ALL ALONE THROUGH A FALLOUT ZONE AND CAME OUT WITH MY SOUL UNTOUCHED People always wanted to murder him. Not literally murder him. But in the game of Murder. They sat in a circle in drama class and Nolan was almost always the first one to die. It was his favorite part of drama. People were enjoying what he was doing and he was making people laugh and smile. It was the best feeling he'd ever had. When he got the sign that he was being killed he threw himself forwards into the middle of the circle and clutched his chest, moaning and gurgling as if he couldn't talk because of a mouth full of blood. His cries of agony could be heard down the hallway and they were almost not allowed to play Murder any more. He laid on the floor and remained there until the game was over, dedicated to playing the part of a dead boy. When they poked him he tried his best not to giggle or squirm. Nolan isn't the best at school but he's not the worst either. His grades have always been between C's and B's and he can count how many A's he's received on one hand and still have wiggle room. He's yet to fail a class but he's failed a few tests before. He struggles with more theoretical classes like sciences and mathematics a lot and are the only classes he has to study for. The others he has a pretty form grasp of. He excels in English and Art, especially drama. The most common critique he gets from teachers is that if he studied more and talked with his friends less he would perform a lot better but has a tendency to get distracted and get off track. The most common compliment he gets from teachers is that he does really well in group projects and shows strong leadership skills. Like all students he has his favorite teachers and is more likely to do well when he enjoys a teacher. The second he starts to dislike the teacher is when his grades decline. He's less likely to pay attention and actually do well. When Nolan's passionate about the subject it becomes pretty obvious. Teachers either really enjoy him or think that he could do so much better. Nolan's more interested in the drama program than school itself, having parts in all of the productions since he started. Just one lead and the others have been minor parts. I LIKE SONGS ABOUT DRIFTERS, BOOKS ABOUT THE SAME, THEY BOTH MAKE ME FEEL He had bought the guitar when he was thirteen with allowance he had been saving up. It wasn't anything special. An old beat up Seagull S6 that had been sitting in a second hand store for quite some time now. It had been scratched up and drawn all over and was collecting dust at the back of the store. But god did he ever love it. He loved it because it had character and it had history. He loved it because it was his first major purchase with his own money. He loved it because it was something he didn't have to share with his brothers and sisters. Sometimes he catches Nick taking it out of the case but he's bigger and faster than Nick. His favorite color is green and he could survive off of sushi and mac and cheese. He's a huge fan of character actors like Cillian Murphy and Heath Ledger. He's a theatre fanatic who isn't afraid to admit that he enjoys musicals. Marie "Marlene" Dietrich is one of his celebrity crushes. He enjoys singing even though he's not very great at it. He taught himself how to play guitar, harmonica and drums but doesn't known a drum set. He has a wide taste when it comes to music and movies. He was in a band when he was fourteen but isn't friends with any of the other members any longer, though he enjoyed the feeling of being in a band. He adores the shows Hannibal and Game of Thrones. He loves acting. He admires his older sister and his father immensely but doesn't know how to tell them. He leaned back in his desk with arms crossed over his chest, jumping when he felt something in his hair. It had been pulled back into a very loose and messy bun with strands falling in his face all day. He could have fixed it but he didn't really see much of a point. His head jolted around and it sat upright with a hand immediately covering the messy little bun. The guy sitting behind him wasn't someone that Nolan considered a friend but he wasn't someone Nolan disliked either. Simply someone who got really overwhelming to sit in front of for an hour. He sat there with a mischievous grin and scissors in his hand, which immediately had Nolan glaring. "Would you fuck off," he hissed, making a mental note to stop leaning back far enough to be reached. He hates being bugged about his long hair and being told that smoking will kill him. He can't stand when people call him firecrotch or act like they're going to cut his hair when he's not looking. He's really self conscious about the way talks and about his full mouth. He thinks his freckles are inconvenient but he also thinks he might finally start liking them. As a child he used to want them to fuse together into one super tan. He's jealous of how seemingly close Nell and their mother are. He hates Math class and finds analyzing poems really boring. He finds girls that idolize Marilyn Monroe without knowing a thing about her personal life are really stupid. He frowns upon people that prey on the week and people who surround themselves with drama and conflict. He doesn't like cake or anything with icing on it. ALL MY GOODNESS IS ALL I GOT FOR YOU HAVE I SHOWN YOU LATELY WHAT MY CLAN CAN DO In a family this big it was hard to be heard so Nolan had stopped trying to even speak up. Nolan was sprawled on the couch with his feet resting on the top of it, arms crossed under his head. His fingers were still wrinkly and smelled like dish water from the huge load of dishes he'd done earlier. He'd also done laundry and managed to find some change Nick left in his pocket. Sucked to be him, Nolan was keeping it as collateral for having been a pain in the ass all night long. Everyone was asleep now, or at the very least tucked into bed. The only reason Nolan wasn't with them all was because he wanted to get a head start on tomorrow's chores, since he would be gone for most of the afternoon. He did most of his chores once everyone else was still asleep. When everyone were out of the way and he wouldn't be pestered. His father is a high school football star turned plumber and an electrician. He got Nolan's mother pregnant pretty young and worked alongside his father rather than getting a scholarship. Nolan admires how hard his father works despite his heart condition. He admires everything he's given up for the family and recognizes how hard it is to take care of so many kids. He tries his best to help his dad out and is certainly closer with him than most of the other family members he has. Much like his older sister Nolan lies to him to make sure his dad isn't worrying too much. He wishes he could be closer with his mother, who works at a grocery store but hasn't for very long. His mother isn't around much and he's not really a fan of that. Sometimes he thinks that it doesn't really feel like much of a family when his dad's working so much and his mother's schedule is so erratic. Nolan's jealous of Nell's relationship with their mother. He sees Nell as his mother's favorite and parents aren't supposed to choose favorites. Since there's a lot about his mother he's been kept in the dark about he doesn't understand that it's not favoritism at all. Nolan and Nell used to be close but he started going through a period of thinking it really lame to be best friends with his big sister and started pulling away a bit. They made different friends and grew apart but he still adores her. He has a lot of respect for Nell, even if she threatens him with ice water. She doesn't know he's only been asleep for a few hours so he tries to cut her a bit of slack. Next is fifteen year old Naomi, who Nolan gets very easily frustrated with. He has to bite his tongue whenever she starts causing drama and making an unnecessary rivalry. Following that is Nathan, who's in eighth grade and far more athletic than Nolan can ever dream to be. Nolan enjoys playing rough with Nathan but always loses. Twelve year old Nick drives Nolan absolutely bonkers with how much trouble he brings in. It's a huge burden, in Nolan's opinion, and if not for Nick he would probably feel a lot safer in his own house. Noah is ten and Nolan shares a room with him. He's quiet and very easy to get along with. If he's ever caught Nolan sneaking out he's never said anything. Last is seven year old Nina, who Nolan positively adores. If he had it have a favorite it would be Nina, because it gives him an excuse to act silly and girly. where no one else will find Cause' everybody wants to hide their secrets away He hadn't known the five queens for long but he already felt like a part of their family. They called him their little baby, treating him like a beloved little sibling or child. They teased him like they teased each other and taught him everything that they possibly could. He was invited into their homes and they would talk for hours and hours. They were not only teaching him how to paint and how to make hip pads, but also teaching him about things like Stonewall and Divine and Martha P. Johnson. Sometimes they felt more like his family than his own, coming over and taking lipstick out of his hand to fix how he had done his lips because he couldn't ever get them to look even. He wasn't the best painter in the world but he was getting better. For a year now Nolan has been dressing up in drag and the only people who know are the five queens who have been teaching him. He has only been performing on stage with them for a few months now. His drag mothers have been teaching him their routines and how to dress and act and move and speak. They've also been teaching him about queer history and how to do his make up and stack wigs. Because he's only sixteen he has a fake ID to get him into the clubs he's been performing at, which his drag family got for him. He keeps everything he has for drag at his drag mother's house, who goes by Dixie. His drag name is Dita Dietrich after one of his favorite actresses Marie Dietrich and he sees it as acting rather than reflecting how he feels on the inside as some queens feel. His love for theatre is reflected in the character he has created. Dita is a washed up broadway actresses who can be very over the top and demanding. She's a bit trashy and loud and obnoxious where Nolan himself is pretty subdued save for when he gets to act. I SEE YOU LOOK AT ME AND JUDGE ME WITH YOUR EYES YOUR WORDS ARE MEANT TO HURT It was third grade and the two boys he was sitting with for lunch were talking about Stella. She was alright, he guessed. She had shared her lunch with him once when he had forgotten his and she had the biggest box of Crayons that he had ever seen. But Nolan didn't really get why all the boys seemed to like her so much. He just didn't see it. Nolan wanted to talk about Sean, the boy who had just transferred from a Catholic school who had the curliest hair he had ever seen. Sean was always drawing little birds in the margins of his notes and always dressed so nicely and talked really quietly. The two boys sitting with Nolan wanted to be able to hold Stella's hand, but Nolan wanted to hold Sean's. Shame is the first thing that comes to mind. There haven't been very many positive gay influences in his life. It took until high school for him to meet someone who was open and comfortable with themselves. He hides who he is because he's ashamed, but also because he's afraid of what society would do to him. Because he's involved in theatre people have asked his sexual preference before but he always shrugs it off as if the answer doesn't matter. He's known for as long as he could remember but hasn't said a thing to anyone. Nor had he acted on these feelings outside of a few intoxicated kisses with his drag friends. He's dated only girls, four that were anything serious and then two pre-school "marriages". He's just not ready to open up about this just yet. ALL WOUND UP, ON THE EDGE, TERRIFIED, SLEEP DISTURBED, RESTLESS MIND, PETRIFIED Whenever they told stories like this is broke his heart. Anita, whose real name was Justin, was talking very nonchalantly about her wife leaving her seven years ago while helping Nolan get into his outfit. She talked as if it didn't bother her, repeating the cruel words her wife had said as if they were compliments. It occurred to Nolan that one day they'd be directed towards him. One day he was going to be called a faggot and he wouldn't know what to do or how to react. And that terrified him. He's terrified of being a disappointment. He's terrified of people being ashamed of him. He's also terrified of how cruel society can be and afraid of getting beaten up. He's scared of rejection and quite understandably of bees. He worries about getting cancer and of dying young in a freak accident. Airplanes are not something he enjoys because he's not only scared of extreme heights but of plane crashes as well. He gets stage fright before any of his performances but has a little mantra to help him through it. BEHIND THE MASK SETH | 24 | EST | AFFILIATES | ABEL, AJ, AND DESTERY