Post by ezra dean matthews on Aug 11, 2013 19:03:38 GMT -8
| [atrb=style,width: 420px; background-color: efefef; background-image: url(http://24.media.tumblr.com/0478144b9f16c95a37367d1aca56b45c/tumblr_mkfax8tDxp1s97ldco1_500.png); padding: 5px, bTable] EZRA D. MATTHEWS 21 | HETEROSEXUAL | MUSICIAN | COLLEGE STUDENT | MAT MUSTO PERSONALITY HOPELESS ROMANTIC | DETERMINED | UNFORGIVING | SWEETHEART | TALENTED Talented: Ever since I was extremely young I knew that I was talented. Well I didn't at first. But my mom always told me that I was a genius and that I was going to become famous some day because of my talent. This was probably around the age of three that I knew because my parents wanted me to start piano lessons at a young age and work my way up learning every instrument out there. I didn't know if I was going to try all of them, but I did go on to learn quite a few instruments, the favorite being my guitar. I learned that when I was only eight years old. I had lessons every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for two years in a row. I connected great with the instructor and I eventually just started to teach myself new things on the guitar and by the age of twelve? Yeah I was writing my own music by then and when I was sixteen I had discovered my voice and used that to my advantage too. See I'm just talented all around. Musically talented that is. Hopeless Romantic: A hopeless romantic? Psh please. I'll deny it if you tell me that I'm a hopeless romantic because I don't want to believe that. I know deep down it's true though. I have this bad boy look to me yet I'm this sweet guy who would do anything for the girl he loves. That's exactly what the ladies like and want yes? That's not why I'm that way though. Sure I like having the attention of women, but that's not why I look so bad. The only reason I do is because I have piercings and tattoos. The piercings were originally just for looks when I turned eighteen. But the tattoos that seemed to expand over the past few years all have meaning to them. Some tattoos I have are extremely girly though. I have a rose on my ankle to represent my grandma who basically took care of me when my mom was a mess. But people don't see that. They just see that I have tattoos and automatically just assume that I'm a bad kid when in reality? I'm far from it. I'm probably the biggest sweetheart you will ever meet and yes it's true, I am a hopeless romantic even if I don't want to admit it sometimes. I treat my women with respect and I treat them as if they were a princess. I hold open doors and I pull out chairs for them. I wasn't raised that way at all, but it's how I believe it should be done. Unforgiving: One of my quirks is that I'm very unforgiving. Once you do something to me like say screw me over with money or walk out of my life when I needed you the most? Yeah I'm not going to forgive you. At least not for many many years. I just don't trust people that easily and once you completely lose the trust that I have built with you and you go and screw it up? I'm not going to forgive you. I don't believe in second chances no matter what the circumstances are. Some call me an asshole for that but I'm a firm believer in that. It's bad I know. You don't have to tell me I'm a jerk and that I need to learn how to deal with things. But this is my way of dealing with it. Once someone screws me over, they are done for. If they do it once, what's going to stop them from doing it again? Life is too short to waste your time wondering if someone is going to come along and screw things up for you again and again. There are plenty of people out there who won't screw you over and will actually help you out in life. Those are the people worth finding and you won't find them if you are constantly letting people screw things up around you. And no, family is not an exception. Especially my father and my sister. My father? I haven't spoken to him in probably ten years. My sister? Haven't heard from her in five. Do I care? No. Detailed: Detailed would be the perfect word to describe me with my music. Well with everything in my life actually, but mostly just my music. I don't show anyone a piece I've been working on until I have perfected it. I pay attention to the small things and I work them out. But I'm also detailed when it comes to what I'm going to wear to the show I was playing that night, or what color strap I was going to wear with my guitar. Literally everything would be picked out to the smallest detail, and yes including what color underwear I would be wearing. One more thing that I am extremely detailed with? My feelings and letting someone know what those exact feelings are. If I think I'm in love with a girl, which has only happened once by the way, I would tell her because that's who I am. But it wasn't just an "I Love You". No I had to go on about everything I loved about her telling her that I love the little crook she had in her ear all the way down to how cute her toes are, and yes, some toes are cute. But that's besides the point. I'm detailed about everything, especially my music and when it comes to talking to someone. Some people call me OCD, but I know it's just because I have an eye for detail. Realistic: Every little kid has a dream at some point in their life. Hell all adults have dreams too. But a lot of people also dream about having a huge mansion, married to the love of their lives and having the perfect kids and family. It's an unrealistic dream though. Not everyone has that huge house or that perfect family. You know the saying "Keep dreaming"? I absolutely hate when people say that to me because I don't say something unless I know it could happen. If it's realistic enough, I'll say something and then I know for sure I would have to make it happen. I shoot for small goals and I work towards them because I don't want to dream about something too big just to get shot down in the end because the goal was too unrealistic. Some call me lame for doing that because everyone apparently has dreams to do or have something that they will never be able to do or have. Me on the other hand? Yes I dream, but I don't think it'll happen. I never say it out loud and I never think twice about it. HISTORY FATHER WALKING OUT | THE FIRST GIRLFRIEND | RUNNING AWAY Toddler Years: I was born on February Eighth in the year 1992 to a man named Frank and a woman named Elise. Frank was a douche and Elise was a beautiful woman who felt bad for Frank. Okay so he wasn't always a douche. But I hate that man now. Although I can't really say I did when I was way young because well.. He hadn't done anything to make me hate him. I was the first child and boy am I ever glad that I was. Yes my mother was extremely protective over me and when she had my sister Carly a year later, she completely devoted all her attention on her. But I still loved that little sister with all my heart. I think I even pretended to be her knight in shining armor at once because we were playing the game where we pretended we were royalty and she was a princess and all I had to do was protect her. My sister and I actually used to be very close when we were younger. Hell our whole family used to be super close. We would even have family nights every so often where we would just sita round and have pizza and watch movies all night. I was also extremely close to my dad when I was younger. He took me to do random things whenever mom was busy with Carly or my dad just wanted to get out of the house. He would take me along and we would go to Chuck E' Cheeses or we would go fishing. Safe to say, I had a pretty awesome toddler-hood. Talent Discovered: When I was only three years old, we discovered that I was a musical genius. Okay so maybe I wasn't that big of a genius, but my parents treated me like it. They thought right away I would become this huge star and I would be able to pay off the house and pay all the bills for them when I was so young. They had high standards and their dreams were way too big. Which I guess is where I get the realistic views on life because I watched them fail at so many things. Anyways, they put me in piano lessons when I was extremely young because they wanted me to try new things. I played the piano, I was in T-Ball, I was even put into dance classes. They wanted me to experience as many different things possible when I was younger and I guess I did just that. Although I didn't stick with any of those things except for my piano lessons. By the time I was four I had already memorized plenty of songs. Sure they were basic songs, but for learning it within a year and being so young? I know it sounds ridiculous, but it was true. I promise it was. That's why they continued to put me into classes to learn different sorts of instruments. I came to discover by the time I was eight I had learned almost all the basic instruments out there, and by the time I was twelve I had practically mastered the guitar and it was by far my favorite instrument and to this day, I have three that I treat like they're my children. Father Walking Out: So anyways, I continued to go to school and I continued to go to music lessons after school. Then after school I would be a good little boy who would go straight home after lessons and do his homework before anything else. But by the time I had all of it done and I had eaten dinner, well it was pretty much time for a shower and then bed time. I was lucky if I got to watch any TV because I was always so busy with things. My parents were both still working and my little sister was one of those popular kids who had friends over or was gone all the time. She didn't do any extra curricular activities like I was forced to. She was in dance class but that was pretty much it. And she quit after a week because she didn't like having to wear a leotard. I didn't pay much attention to her for a few months because we never ran into each other and we didn't really do anything as a family by this time. So when my father just up and left one day it didn't really surprise me. I mean yes it did, but it didn't really make a difference in my life because I had been so used to him always being at work anyways so I never saw him in the first place. My mom didn't really seem to care either. But I knew she did deep down. She just didn't want to admit it to us kids. My sister was a mess though because she thought she would lose all of her friends just because she had no daddy which was just stupid. Although I was only nine and she was only eight at the time so we had quite a weird look on things when he left us. Most kids are devastated when a parent who has been in their life for so many years just vanishes. Sure I was upset. I can't deny that without lying. But did I get over it? Yes. Will I ever forgive him if he comes back? No. The Big Secret: Sister Running Away: Frank wasn't the only one who had left either. My sister ran out on us when she was only sixteen. I was seventeen at the time and I was working hard at becoming a rock star. I had already written two notebooks full of music that I wanted to perform in front of people and at this point I thought I was good enough to land my own record contract with a big named label and I would be going on tour. So I wasn't really paying attention to her. She still remained that popular girl who was constantly gone or had people over at the house. Anyways, she left us at the age of sixteen and I suppose it's my fault. That's the big secret you guys want to know about isn't it? See we lived in California. Far far away from Brunswick. My sister was... well what's a nice word for it.. She was very friendly with guys. A little too friendly. At first I was protective over her when she brought home her first boyfriend when she was fourteen, but after I had threatened the kid, he got a huge group of guys to jump me one day and since then I just sort of stayed out of my sisters way because she didn't give a rats ass about what had happened to me. She started to party hard when she was fifteen and she was bringing home a new guy every week. My mom was working three different jobs to keep the house and to care for us and I was trying to help out as best I could. My sister on the other hand just took all that money and wasted it on pointless shit so she could have fun with her friends. So you could imagine that we were a little ticked off with her. I swear I still don't know how she didn't end up pregnant. I mean maybe she did and that's why she ran off. But either way, I'll never know. But the reason it's a huge secret is because I was the reason she ran away. She had came home one night drunk from a party and she had some older guy with her. I was so fed up with her at this point that when she was basically screaming for help from her bedroom I didn't really care and I just sort of pushed it off. She was probably just messing with me anyways. Well come to find out later that night, she had been raped. She came crying to me after she had sobered up a bit and since I hadn't slept in almost 48 hours due to work, I sort of just yelled at her and told her that she deserved it. The next morning she was gone. My moms been a mess ever since and I feel terrible about it. But what can I do? I watched her sit around for a year after that and it was too hard on me. She barely looked at me or spoke to me. So that's why I just packed up and left for school as far away as I could. That's how I ended up in Brunswick. Current Years: Well that brings me to today. Today I'm in my second year of college at the school here in Brunswick and I'm actually sort of loving it here. No one knows about my dad walking out on me when I was little, or that my little sister was a complete party whore in high school and then ran away because I yelled at her, and they don't know that I don't care. Sure I wonder where she is at times and I wonder if she's doing alright, but then I think about it and I realize it is my sister and she's big enough to take care of herself. She's just fine and I don't need to worry about her. It seems like a jerk move of me for not trying to find her, but it's not my job. I need to worry about myself and how I'm going to provide for myself in the future. All I have right now is my guitar and my voice. I've continued to write music and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. I go to school for music related things and I'm hoping that if I go for long enough and I get my degree in something music related, I'll have a better chance at getting noticed out in the big world and I won't have to worry about the small checks I get paid when I do the small gigs around town. For now, I'm content with life and I'm just going with the flow and seeing where life takes me from here. BEHIND THE MASK MYA | EIGHTEEN | CENTRAL | ADVERTISEMENT | MADISYN SEE MADISYN RAE WILLIAMS |
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