Post by KENDALL OLIVIA ROSE on Aug 6, 2013 15:03:28 GMT -8
KENDALL O. ROSE
20 | HETEROSEXUAL | CELEBRITY | LOCAL | VICTORIA JUSTICE
"Fame is the thirst of youth."
I remember it like yesterday, but it was really six years ago. I was fourteen and the fame hit me like a ton of bricks. One second I was watching my older brothers perform, act, and get chased around by girls and then all of a sudden it was my turn. It was finally my turn to get the attention I believed that I deserved, I was done living in my brothers shadows. It was my first CD and of course it wasn't a big hit at first, but then once I guest starred on a pretty popular show everyone was buying my CD and it was a great feeling. I was on magazines, I got to model a bunch of different clothes, I got appear on so many shows, and then it eventually led to my own TV show. It did only last about four seasons, but it was more then my brothers had gotten and I knew that they were jealous on some level. I didn't care though, all the attention was on me. It was every girls dream to be famous and be interviewed and having everyone know you, and I was living out that dream at the mere age of 14.
"Its not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it."
I remember it like it was yesterday, but it was really four years ago. I was sixteen and the flashing lights from the camera was blinding to me. My smile was no longer genuine but to the paparazzi and my fans I was looking better, skinnier, and healthier than ever. If only they knew my secret. I was half way through my television show and making enough money to be able to move out of my parents house, to bad I couldn't because I was only a minor. My parents were doing their usual fake break up, fake get back together thing that they always did to get attention and of course it didn't faze me at all. I was so used to all of the fake-ness that came with being a celebrity in the lime light. My brothers were gone touring with their music and I was making a second CD. Our family was constantly on magazine covers, being interviewed, and going to places where there was a paparazzi. I was living every girls dream, but I was no longer enjoying it. My love for music was gone, my love for acting was gone, and my love for modeling was gone. If I could be honest I would tell young children never to become famous, the stress kills you and I wouldn't want them to end up like me. I was living out the dream at the mere age of 16, but I wasn't happy anymore.
"I think part of being an adult is leaving the fairy tale behind."
I remember it like it was yesterday, but it was really two years ago. I was eighteen and I wanted to escape and leave the world that I was in behind. The fame had taken a toll on me and my weight had drastically dropped because I had given up eating like a normal person, but no one noticed. They just thought that I was being healthy and working out, losing weight the right way. I never wore short sleeves, but of course they didn't catch on to that either. The pain had been eating me up so I took it out on myself, I felt like there was no other way. I didn't want to be famous anymore, the stress of being perfect was not worth it anymore. I didn't want kids looking up to me because of how much of a mess I was. It was sad but my parents didn't even notice and neither had my brothers, but I had a feeling that they were convinced that you couldn't be sad while being famous. All it did was bring you joy, but that was bullshit. I knew what I was doing was killing myself but I didn't care, I didn't want to be here anymore. I guess you could say I was depressed. I was living the dream out at the mere age 18, with the last season of my television show underway and a tour getting ready to take place but I wasn't happy anymore and I wanted out and that was my plan.
"Change in all things are sweet."
I remember it like it was yesterday, and it was. I am now 20 years old and still dealing with my depression, eating disorder, and cutting myself and the only people that know are my new therapist. I left Hollywood, California to go to the small, almost unknown town of Brunswick, Maine. I was hoping that the small town would make it difficult for my secret to get out and that I could see my new therapist in peace. I am skinnier then ever and there are scars that cover my wrists, the fame ate at me and left me as an empty soul. I felt bad about leaving, I really did. I just left early on morning, took all my money, and left a note saying that I needed a change in environment. I knew they expected me to come back and do a tour seeing as I canceled my last one half way through because of not being able to handle it anymore, but I didn't want to go back. I had enough money where I never had to work again if I just lived in an apartment and didn't spend my money on crazy things, and that was what I planed on doing. My brothers wanted me back and so did my parents, but they didn't understand. I don't think they ever would. I had slowly started eating more, cutting less, and crying less and I think the change of scenery helped but I know that my battle with those things was not going to end anytime soon. I had given up living out the dream at the mere age of 20, it had fucked me up and made me an empty shell of the person I was. I want to find myself again, and if giving up being a celebrity is what it costs, then so be it.
"I'm so nervous. I've always been nervous, ever since I was a little kid."
I remember it like yesterday, but it wasn't because it was today. I am twenty and currently sitting in the waiting room, nervous as I had never been before. Normally I would be considered fearless, never getting nervous about anything seeing as I performed in front of thousands of people at a single time. This was different though because I am not an open book at all and I refuse to talk about my feelings, but that might be where my problem stemmed from. I looked up as they called me into her room and the older lady who was now sitting across from me directed me to a seat. I smiled of course, I was a friendly person and I wasn't going to be a bitch to anyone I just met because I do have manners. At first she just asked me the simple small talk questions, which I disliked a lot. She asked me what I enjoyed doing and I answered the cliche play guitar and sing, which I would consider partially a lie. I do love it, don't get me wrong, I just don't enjoy doing it as a career anymore. Then the lady started asking me more in depth questions and after a while I just snapped, I don't mean to have a temper and snap at people sometimes but that is who I am and my bad temper wasn't going to go anywhere anytime soon. Of course she apologized nicely and I explained that I didn't like people being super nosy right at first. After my first therapy session was over I headed home, I had decided to walk because the outdoors always brought me peace and I loved it, but of course I did get some stares and whispers. I was used to that sort of thing and I put up the front like I didn't care that they were talking about me. Too bad it was a complete and utter lie. It was a nice day out and I was a mere twenty years old, I didn't know for sure but I knew people were wondering why I gave up that dream at such a young age.
I remember it like yesterday, but it was really six years ago. I was fourteen and the fame hit me like a ton of bricks. One second I was watching my older brothers perform, act, and get chased around by girls and then all of a sudden it was my turn. It was finally my turn to get the attention I believed that I deserved, I was done living in my brothers shadows. It was my first CD and of course it wasn't a big hit at first, but then once I guest starred on a pretty popular show everyone was buying my CD and it was a great feeling. I was on magazines, I got to model a bunch of different clothes, I got appear on so many shows, and then it eventually led to my own TV show. It did only last about four seasons, but it was more then my brothers had gotten and I knew that they were jealous on some level. I didn't care though, all the attention was on me. It was every girls dream to be famous and be interviewed and having everyone know you, and I was living out that dream at the mere age of 14.
"Its not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it."
I remember it like it was yesterday, but it was really four years ago. I was sixteen and the flashing lights from the camera was blinding to me. My smile was no longer genuine but to the paparazzi and my fans I was looking better, skinnier, and healthier than ever. If only they knew my secret. I was half way through my television show and making enough money to be able to move out of my parents house, to bad I couldn't because I was only a minor. My parents were doing their usual fake break up, fake get back together thing that they always did to get attention and of course it didn't faze me at all. I was so used to all of the fake-ness that came with being a celebrity in the lime light. My brothers were gone touring with their music and I was making a second CD. Our family was constantly on magazine covers, being interviewed, and going to places where there was a paparazzi. I was living every girls dream, but I was no longer enjoying it. My love for music was gone, my love for acting was gone, and my love for modeling was gone. If I could be honest I would tell young children never to become famous, the stress kills you and I wouldn't want them to end up like me. I was living out the dream at the mere age of 16, but I wasn't happy anymore.
"I think part of being an adult is leaving the fairy tale behind."
I remember it like it was yesterday, but it was really two years ago. I was eighteen and I wanted to escape and leave the world that I was in behind. The fame had taken a toll on me and my weight had drastically dropped because I had given up eating like a normal person, but no one noticed. They just thought that I was being healthy and working out, losing weight the right way. I never wore short sleeves, but of course they didn't catch on to that either. The pain had been eating me up so I took it out on myself, I felt like there was no other way. I didn't want to be famous anymore, the stress of being perfect was not worth it anymore. I didn't want kids looking up to me because of how much of a mess I was. It was sad but my parents didn't even notice and neither had my brothers, but I had a feeling that they were convinced that you couldn't be sad while being famous. All it did was bring you joy, but that was bullshit. I knew what I was doing was killing myself but I didn't care, I didn't want to be here anymore. I guess you could say I was depressed. I was living the dream out at the mere age 18, with the last season of my television show underway and a tour getting ready to take place but I wasn't happy anymore and I wanted out and that was my plan.
"Change in all things are sweet."
I remember it like it was yesterday, and it was. I am now 20 years old and still dealing with my depression, eating disorder, and cutting myself and the only people that know are my new therapist. I left Hollywood, California to go to the small, almost unknown town of Brunswick, Maine. I was hoping that the small town would make it difficult for my secret to get out and that I could see my new therapist in peace. I am skinnier then ever and there are scars that cover my wrists, the fame ate at me and left me as an empty soul. I felt bad about leaving, I really did. I just left early on morning, took all my money, and left a note saying that I needed a change in environment. I knew they expected me to come back and do a tour seeing as I canceled my last one half way through because of not being able to handle it anymore, but I didn't want to go back. I had enough money where I never had to work again if I just lived in an apartment and didn't spend my money on crazy things, and that was what I planed on doing. My brothers wanted me back and so did my parents, but they didn't understand. I don't think they ever would. I had slowly started eating more, cutting less, and crying less and I think the change of scenery helped but I know that my battle with those things was not going to end anytime soon. I had given up living out the dream at the mere age of 20, it had fucked me up and made me an empty shell of the person I was. I want to find myself again, and if giving up being a celebrity is what it costs, then so be it.
"I'm so nervous. I've always been nervous, ever since I was a little kid."
I remember it like yesterday, but it wasn't because it was today. I am twenty and currently sitting in the waiting room, nervous as I had never been before. Normally I would be considered fearless, never getting nervous about anything seeing as I performed in front of thousands of people at a single time. This was different though because I am not an open book at all and I refuse to talk about my feelings, but that might be where my problem stemmed from. I looked up as they called me into her room and the older lady who was now sitting across from me directed me to a seat. I smiled of course, I was a friendly person and I wasn't going to be a bitch to anyone I just met because I do have manners. At first she just asked me the simple small talk questions, which I disliked a lot. She asked me what I enjoyed doing and I answered the cliche play guitar and sing, which I would consider partially a lie. I do love it, don't get me wrong, I just don't enjoy doing it as a career anymore. Then the lady started asking me more in depth questions and after a while I just snapped, I don't mean to have a temper and snap at people sometimes but that is who I am and my bad temper wasn't going to go anywhere anytime soon. Of course she apologized nicely and I explained that I didn't like people being super nosy right at first. After my first therapy session was over I headed home, I had decided to walk because the outdoors always brought me peace and I loved it, but of course I did get some stares and whispers. I was used to that sort of thing and I put up the front like I didn't care that they were talking about me. Too bad it was a complete and utter lie. It was a nice day out and I was a mere twenty years old, I didn't know for sure but I knew people were wondering why I gave up that dream at such a young age.
BEHIND THE MASK
MEGAN| 18 | PACIFIC | <3 | YOU KNOW WHO THEY ARE(;
