Post by PAMELA QUINN LOWRY on Jun 26, 2013 5:38:44 GMT -8
| [atrb=style,width: 420px; background-color: efefef; background-image: url(http://24.media.tumblr.com/0478144b9f16c95a37367d1aca56b45c/tumblr_mkfax8tDxp1s97ldco1_500.png); padding: 5px, bTable] PAMELA Q. LOWRY 24 | HETEROSEXUAL | UNEMPLOYED | VISITOR | CANDICE SWANEPOEL THE GLOSSARY happenstance: adj. a circumstance especially that is due to chance For example, Karen Lowry and Anthony Wallis weren’t meant to meet, much less explore intimate desires together. Anthony was interviewing for a job in the city—New York City, to be precise—and Karen had just clocked out after eight long, grueling hours working at a coffee shop. If Karen hadn’t dropped her driver’s license on her way out, the two parties may have never spoken to each other. Anthony spotted the i.d. card as soon as it slipped out of Karen’s purse, and somehow, miraculously, a conversation sparked from a little generosity. They had nearly zero interests in common, but some force (most likely lust) kept them bonded together. For a bit, anyway. dysfunctional: adj. abnormal or unhealthy interpersonal behavior or interaction within a group For example, relationships require trust and cooperation, mutual longing and loyalty. Karen and Anthony’s lack of connection was ultimately the stepping stones toward their inevitable split. First off, Anthony didn’t score the job he’d been in New York City to interview for. The company wanted to “go in a different direction,” a direction he was obviously unsuitable for. Karen and Anthony ended their week together on a high note, so they decided to attempt a dreaded long-distance relationship 3,000 miles apart. They took turns flying back and forth to see each other. Thousands of miles between them, their own schedules conflicted with their “passion.” Anthony forgot to call Karen back frequently. Karen could never fly out to see Anthony in Las Vegas because of her demanding job. But these struggles were minute in comparison to their hardships to come. miscarriage: n. the expulsion of a fetus before it is viable, especially between the third and seventh months of pregnancy For example, Anthony was typically safe whenever he and Karen had sex, but one night, the condom broke without their knowledge. Storing condoms in a wallet wasn’t recommended. Anthony didn’t listen to the experts. Telling Anthony she was pregnant over the phone was probably the most painful experience Karen had yet to endure. The stress of a pregnancy without her boyfriend constantly holding her hand terrified Karen, and she turned to alcoholic beverages to ward off the terrors she faced alone. Bad idea. The pregnancy was miscarried in the first trimester, days into the third month of her pregnancy. Despite Karen and Anthony’s reluctance to have a child in the first place, they felt dejected, heartbroken that their potential child was terminated before she/he had a chance to live. accident: n. an unforeseen and unplanned event or circumstance For example, the combination of grief and confusion set Anthony and Karen at great odds. They could barely look at each other, barely speak to each other without remembering what Karen had done to their child. Anthony partly blamed himself. He had to. If he had been there, Karen wouldn’t have felt stressed, wouldn’t of turned to the bottle for relief. Weeks went by before Karen decided to take responsibility for her actions, and she booked a flight down to Las Vegas to visit Anthony, to sort their problems out. Let’s just say their relationship wasn’t typically solved by heart-to-heart conversations, and about six weeks later, Karen realized she was pregnant once again. A blessing to them, perhaps a sign of good juju, Karen and Anthony decided to try and make this second chance work. Pamela Quinn Lowry was born. abandonment: trans v. to give up with the intent of never again claiming a right or interest in For example, unfortunately, Anthony wasn’t as enthusiastic about the white picket fence sort of life as Karen was. She desired marriage, to raise her child in a family setting, just as her mother and father had. It was the American dream. Their youthful ages made committing to a father role difficult for Anthony, so he left when Pamela was two. All the late-night cravings during Karen’s pregnancy had been the beginning of his inner turmoil, and once the “terrible two’s” phase hit, Anthony was at his breaking point. He moved back to Vegas, ignoring Pamela and Karen forevermore. Alternative uses: Pamela doesn’t know whether her father is dead or alive. Karen never spoke of him. Any holiday that requires parent appreciation flies straight above her head. No remorse or anger is felt, typically. How could she miss something she never knew? Pamela has no desire to meet her father. flighty: adj. lacking stability or steadiness For example, after Anthony left, Karen went haywire. At first she didn’t get out of bed until late in the afternoon, and even then she only woke up if Pamela hadn’t stopped crying throughout the day. Anthony was supposed to love Karen and their new baby, but he obviously didn’t want to man up to the task. Alcohol had already been a problem of Karen’s, so she once again took refuge in the stupor that came with intoxication. Karen lost many jobs by refusing to come into work, and food was definitely scarce when Pamela was growing up. For most of her childhood, Pamela’s collarbones protruded from her neck, and anyone who looked could count her ribs once they lifted her shirt. At one point in Pamela’s childhood, Karen brought home a man, and they had sex regularly, oftentimes when Pamela was sitting at the table doing her homework or playing with the few toys she had. Without truly understanding what they were doing, Pamela had seen snippets of their intimacy. The man impregnated Karen. And he left. Karen sobered up the best she could while she was pregnant, and nine months later, Pamela’s baby brother was born. Alternative uses: To this day, Pamela is surprised she survived her childhood. Karen’s neglect forced her to grow up by the time she was five years old. She was smart enough to know where the pantry was, so she nibbled on whatever she could find. Sometimes she ate uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in butter. Pamela didn’t know better at the time. With that being said, Pamela became an independent girl early on. And because of her mother’s weakness, Pamela can’t stand to look at her face. In fact, she doesn’t even know if her mother is still alive. denial: n. a psychological defense mechanism in which confrontation with a personal problem or with reality is avoided by denying the existence of the problem or reality For example, Pamela soon adopted her mother’s method of dealing with life—denial. Her brother was born when Pamela was seven years old, and once he was home, Karen fell into the same routine she used with Pamela. The first few months were great: Karen breast-fed her baby boy, clothed him, and rocked him correctly. But her efforts wore thin. Luckily Pamela had enough wit to pay attention. Their situation was worse than Pamela could remember, but she refused to validate the truth. “My mommy worked a lot last night,” she’d say. Or, “My mommy’s just sad right now. She’ll get better.” Blind optimism was the only way Pamela and her baby brother could survive. It was difficult to see her mother as a monster because she had fleeting moments of the mother Pamela yearned for. She was apologetic, understanding, and sometimes helped Pamela with her homework. The two mothers Pamela saw in one person was utterly confusing, and it clouded her judgment for a long, long time. Alternative uses: Even though she and her brother share only a mother, Pamela loves him more than anyone in the world. Pamela would do anything for him, and he’d return the favor in a heartbeat. Pamela essentially raised him, after all. Because of the struggles Pamela faced, she has developed a resolve to never turn out to be the mother her mother was to her. If or when Pamela has children, she wants to be a caring mother. desperation: n. a state of hopelessness leading to rashness For example, Karen lost job upon job because she’d developed a severe case of alcoholism without any intention of curing herself. Money was tight. Her landowner was threatening to evict them from their house, a regular happening in the Lowry household. Pamela saw many tiny apartments, most of which became grungier as she aged. Karen felt trapped; she had reached the lowest point in her life. In a low-income family apartment complex with nowhere else to move to but the streets, Karen sold her body for sex at local clubs. Sometimes she brought the men home. Pamela, now fifteen years old, would cover her head with a pillow and hum until the noises were through, instructing her little brother to do the same. Other times she risked the dangerous New York City streets until the men had left her home or each were sound asleep in her mother’s bed. Alternative uses: As I mentioned before, Pamela was forced to grow up far before her time, and she was robbed of her innocence because of her mother. Sex isn’t a symbol of pleasure for her anymore. It’s the crossbones of her childhood, a poison. prostitution: n. the act or practice of engaging in promiscuous sexual relations especially for money For example, at forty years old, Karen’s body was aged, even more so because of the damage of alcoholism on her body. Men wanted to be pleased, aroused, and they chose the beautiful over the old and ragged. Karen’s dishonest means of making money was failing miserably, so she did an unforgivable act—she asked Pamela to go into the business. Pamela was beautiful from an early age; Karen had been too before the alcohol wrecked her. They’d lose their home if Pamela didn’t help, Karen argued. Please, please, Pamela, we need the money, Karen begged. Pamela couldn’t stand losing her home, and she knew someone in the household needed to be paid in order for her brother to eat properly. Hesitantly, Pamela agreed, lying about her age to attract grizzly, cheating businessmen and the like. Needless to say, Pamela lost her virginity to one of these men. She didn’t even know his name. Alternative uses: Pamela had never felt so low about herself until she was forced into sex with strangers from the street. Sometimes the men even refused to pay her afterwards. Losing her virginity to a stranger was probably the most upsetting blow about the entire situation. The fact Karen begged her to sell her body can still cause Pamela to break down and sob to this day. Really, the entire experience was traumatic for her. She supposes she’s just lucky she never became pregnant. drugs: n. something and often an illegal substance that causes addiction, habituation, or a marked change in consciousness For example, as prostitution wasn’t the most honest career, Pamela soon turned to drugs in order to forget. Sure, going into a job under the influence potentially endangered her, but waking up to confusion seemed better than waking up to shame. Besides, at sixteen, Pamela was easily influenced into the allures of drugs, especially because her mother’s condition hadn’t improved. Drugs helped her forget about her mom’s alcoholism, helped her stop thinking. Alternative uses: The two years Pamela used drugs are probably the most unclear days of her life. She has no idea what she could have committed, what may have happened to her while she was stoned. Pamela tries not to linger on the possibilities. Instead she has learned to accept her past and live for the future. She can’t go back to the past, but she can form the future. rehabilitation: trans v. to restore or bring to a condition of health or useful and constructive activity For example, two years later, now eighteen years old, Pamela wanted out of the prostitution business. While most were just legally entering the world of sex and perverts, Pamela needed to escape, and finding an out was harder than someone may think. Turned out she had accumulated some loyal fans throughout her time at the company she worked for, and some of these fans were reluctant to see her go. Some could argue she quit in the prime of her career, but for her, prostitution wasn’t a career she wanted to thrive off of anymore. So her journey to become a respectable human being began. Quitting drugs was the most difficult. As Pamela wasn’t addicted completely and had only used when her “job” left her feeling hopeless, she was able to remove herself from the scene she associated with drugs and lock herself in a room whenever she needed a fix. Ashamedly, Pamela asked her brother to help her, though she didn’t tell him what he was doing exactly. She just told him to make her stay in her room no matter what she said to him. And he obliged. After that, Pamela went to work at multiple jobs, mostly minimum wage and within walking distance of their home. Alternative uses: Pamela feels terrible about bringing her brother into her “rehab” practices, even if she didn’t disclose what she needed him for. Working odd jobs helped her develop a great work ethic, and she was promoted in some of them. Getting away from her former lifestyle is probably Pamela’s greatest achievement. gold digger: n. a person who uses charm to extract money or gifts from others For example, it didn’t take long until Pamela became desperate for more cash. By this time, Karen had quit working at all, instead vegetating in her bed for days at a time, completely useless. There was no way Pamela could support herself, her mother, and her brother on the paychecks she made, so she used her good looks and charm in her advantage. Making the trip from Brooklyn to Manhattan everyday wasn’t ideal, but Pamela was convinced her plan would work as long as she met the right people. Playing the role of a socialite was difficult to swallow. Pamela put her family in jeopardy more than once because she found buying new clothes important to her cause. She moved in with a couple girls from upperclass families, paying her third of the rent with whatever she accumulated. There was an entirely separate history for the role Pamela was playing. All she needed was a trophy boyfriends who’d buy her lavish gifts she could sell and excuse as “losing,” using a blonde stereotype for her benefit. Alternative uses: Pamela became an excellent liar in this period of her life. Acting had never interested her before, but she loved the adrenaline rush associated with pretending to belong. It also scared her to death. Pamela has her feet in two worlds, one in poverty, and another in luxury. She admittedly fell in love with the lifestyle, and even though a couple gifts gave her enough money for sustenance, she refused to give up the sneaky alterego she created. love: n. strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties For example, when Pamela took on her socialite persona, falling in love wasn’t on the agenda. It just happened. Richard Sawyer was one of the more serious relationships she had. He was mysterious and sometimes too temperamental, but Pamela enjoyed the challenge. Their relationship probably worked well because of their secretive chemistry. Pamela always felt Richard was hiding bits of who he was from her, but she never pressed him because she’d feel obligated to return the favor if he told her the complete truth about who he was. And, as planned, Richard spoiled her with luxuries. They went out to dinner often. He bought her gifts. Whatever Pamela could dispose of for some extra cash without him noticing was sold on eBay or other internet sources. She used this money to provide for her deadbeat mother and little brother. Alternative uses: For the first time in Pamela's life, she learned how to love someone who wasn't her brother. Richard was basically her first love, and she can't forget about him. marriage of convenience: n. a marriage contracted for social, political, or economic advantage rather than for mutual affection For example, Richard didn’t stay. Pamela figured he’d found out about her double-life, and enraged, left her. This was a problem. Pamela had stopped working in order to keep her cover for her new life. No boyfriend meant no income. Meeting Jared was mostly out of luck. Once more, Pamela played the field in her favor, and when Jared proposed to her a couple months later, she said yes. Their wedding was planned within a month, and Pamela was officially announced Pamela Byrne soon after. She moved in with Jared, and they lived an easy life. For a few months, Pamela no longer had to worry about economics. Jared believed that all his money was her money. It was too bad Pamela didn’t truly love him. Alternative uses: Because of her marriage to Jared, Pamela was able to climb out of her financial rut. She started feeling less guilty about using people for her own advantage. In a dog eat dog world, anything was necessary. nostalgia: n. a wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition For example, overall, Jared was kind to Pamela, and their marriage was functional in ways Pamela hadn’t expected. They had compromise. Unfortunately, the lack of closure between she and Richard dashed her marriage altogether. Pamela missed Richard, and she wanted to seek him out. Jared and Pamela hadn’t been married for a few months before Pamela took to the courts and filed for a divorce. Before she was free, Pamela began tracking down her ex-boyfriend, using his little brother as a key. Daniel had recently gone after him, and Pamela was able to ask around with Daniel’s picture to figure out which way Richard disappeared. And now she’s in Brunswick. Alternative uses: By realizing her true feelings for Axel and breaking off her main source of income, Pamela feels freer and the most fearless she’s ever been. At the end of the day, she’d rather be poor and in love than living in a marriage that only satisfies her thirst for cash. Since her brother is only seventeen, she brought him along. BEHIND THE MASK CHAR | 00 | PACIFIC | HEH | TIFF, HARLS, ADRIAN, WHIT, KEITH, TASHA, SAM, ETHAN What a slut. |
