Post by ETHAN JACOBUS BERNARD on Jun 12, 2013 14:22:30 GMT -8
| [atrb=style,width: 420px; background-color: efefef; background-image: url(http://24.media.tumblr.com/0478144b9f16c95a37367d1aca56b45c/tumblr_mkfax8tDxp1s97ldco1_500.png); padding: 5px, bTable] ETHAN J. BERNARD 27 | HETEROSEXUAL | PATROL OFFICER | EMERGENCY CREW | CHACE CRAWFORD THE INTERVIEW HELLO. THANKS FOR COMING IN TODAY. SHALL WE START WITH YOUR NAME? Ethan pulls a face, a face that resembles a smirk. “If we have to,” he replies slowly, mock-whining. A sparkle is glistening in his gorgeous blue eyes. “Ethan.” He holds out his right hand soon after. Apparently it’s not a customary action to make in a formal interview because the interviewer gives him a blank stare. “Sorry, man,” he mutters. “Didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything…” Ethan repeals his hand slowly, smiling apologetically. He clears his throat when a few moments pass. Awkward. THAT'S A NICE NAME. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING? “Hey, it’s better than Gaylord or something,” Ethan agrees, mentally thanking his parents they hadn’t named him anything obscure. Ethan was a manly name. At least, that’s what he’d heard. “But, uh…” He pauses. His fingers momentarily scratch at a nonexistent itch at the nape of his neck. “I’m a patrol officer? Y’know, I drive around in an police cruiser all day, saving lives, defeating bad guys… practically being a hero without Spidey senses or anything like that…” Ethan shrugs, obviously out of words to say. He crosses his leg over the other. “It’s a nice job,” he continues aimlessly. “Pays well. The hours are a bit ridiculous, though. Graveyard shift.” Ethan rolls his eyes. Of course the interviewer knows the pains of working when everyone else was sleeping. INTERESTING. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN? Ethan isn’t sure why the question amuses him, but he finds himself chuckling once his brain processes the question. “The better question would probably be what don’t I do for fun, but, uh, I guess it depends on what I’m in the mood for. I’ve yet to properly settle down, so I lead a social life, I think. Parties are always a blast to go to, especially when I have a few of my buddies with me. I spend probably too much time frequenting local clubs… Attrait… or not so local clubs. To be really honest, the only way you’ll find a good time is if you’re up for a drive down to Portland. Totally worth the cash. I’ve been to a few shows down there, too. Honestly, if my friends are having a get-together then more likely than not, I’ll be there. They’re a cool bunch.” “Like I said, though. My nights are largely preoccupied with work. Treating myself to a drink is like a mini Christmas in June. I guess you could say my job has taught me to treasure the value of time. I shit you not. Before the [police] Department hired me, I was constantly wasting my time, never giving a single fuck about anything. It’s almost like getting a job has transformed me into a fully-functional person. It’s crazy.” Ethan laughs. “Seriously, though, I just try to lead a life that I can be happy with, man. Drinks with friends, dipping my foot into the dating pool… All of that stuff comes whenever it comes. I don’t stress over that stuff.” “You want to know something else? Before I started working graveyard, I hated sleeping. Hated it. I could be doing a billion other things, but now that I’m actually working my ass off out there, a good night’s rest has never felt so good. This is kind of off-topic, but have you ever seen one of those… what are they called? Me-me’s? Memes? Whatever. The images of Facebook with the text on them labeled ‘Teenager Posts’ or something? Dude, I was scrolling through my feed about a week ago and one of my cousins who’s like fifteen had shared this one picture about an alarm clock being jealous of his relationship with his bed. That right there is me at two-thirty in the afternoon, just waking up, dreading work in five hours. Seriously!” “You can only imagine how ecstatic I am when I have more than one day off in a row. Do you know how much shit I can get accomplished with two days? I try to take care of house work because I don’t want the homeowners association on my ass about the hedges being too out of control. After that I tend to work out for a while, go grocery shopping, and… Wait. You asked me what I do for fun. Well, shit.” Ethan hits his hand against his forehead. “Just erase the last two minutes from your memory, alright? Next question.” WOULD YOU SAY THOSE ACTIVITIES REFLECT WHO YOU ARE? Wow, deep. Now the interviewer wants introspection. “They say a man’s character is judged by the actions he takes when no one is watching,” Ethan begins. “If that’s true, I must be a real ass.” He chuckles. “I guess you could say everything I do reflects my personality. I’m a very social person. I love having a great time, but I’m also not opposed to sitting around in my underwear on Sunday morning playing Black Ops. I’m a very flexible person with my free time. If someone wants to meet for dinner, I won’t say no. If a girl wants to hole up insider her house and watch a movie, then I’d be alright with that, too. I’m really not that picky.” “I’m not really sure how to connect my work with me, though. I know it sounds stupid. I’ve been told that I’m not cut out to be a cop, and maybe I’m not. Hell, I probably should have gone to a real college for a real degree, but I enjoy what I do for the most part. I want people to feel safe, and I want people to know that Brunswick won’t tolerate anything that have the potential to harm another person. Pulling people over for speeding is great. They always argue with me, and a stop that could have taken five minutes suddenly takes fifteen because people are jackasses. When I’m in the suit, I’m automatically the bad guy. Whatever, man.” “That distinction between attitudes while I’m a cop and just another face on the street gets me every time. I think in order to fit into society, you have to be a mixture of the bad cop and the good citizen. My job has taught me certain lessons about responsibility, human nature, and lifesaving skills I can use when I’m not in the uniform. But my casual time, my me-time, has also kept me grounded. Being a cop is rough, man. We see things that you see on CSI, Criminal Minds, and NCIS. It’s not always pretty. I hate being the first to respond to a scene of a fatal car accident. It humbles you, though. Makes you grateful for your beating heart. Am I a good person? Eh, probably not. A bad person? I don’t think so. It all depends on who you’re talking to.” A COOL CAT LIKE YOU MUST HAVE A TON OF SUITORS FLOCKING TO YOU, HUH? “Suitors? Flocking? You have a peculiar collection of vocabulary, my friend.” Wasn’t a suitor the bachelor a dad chose for his daughter? And flocking sounded like a giant mass of birds. In Ethan’s mind, the image of a bunch of desperate boys with wings shot into his head. “Anyway, uh, no,” he says, shaking away the image. “I do not have any of these so-called ‘suitors’ you speak of. I’m not really interested in the whole ‘relationship’ drama right now. But I’m more than happy to share my bed, if that counts for anything.” COOL BEANS. THEY SAY YOUR FAMILY SHAPES WHO YOU ARE. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOURS? “Cool beans? Seriously, what century do you come from?” Ethan laughs. This guy was just plain strange. “My family is my family, man. There’s not really an easy way to describe them. I have a mom and a dad, who, by the way, are still married. I felt that’s important because it seems like everyone’s either making up or breaking up, and I think that’s part of the reason why I don’t want to commit to anyone like that. My parents are great. I don’t spend as much time with them as my little bro does, though. He lives with them. I try to drive up there once every couple weeks to eat dinner and catch up, but my work schedule’s pretty crazy most days. Sam—that’s my brother—is always down here because he has a big monster of a horse that he’s basically in love with. If horses and humans could be married, I’m pretty sure Sam would do it. I’m not going to hold my breath, though. Since the horse is a guy, the whole ‘gay marriage’ controversy plays a part, and I don’t even want to get involved with those details.” Ethan rolls his eyes. “He’s a cool dude, though. Tends to take everything a little too seriously. Don’t worry. I’ll have him bright-eyed and bushy-tailed soon. I keep telling him if he’d just try and get laid, just go out and find a nice, random girl, he’d feel a lot better. But he has ‘morals.’” Ethan quotes “morals” with his fingers. “I just want what’s best for him.” “My sister, on the other hand, is… such a chick. A hopeless romatic. Shocker, right? Her childhood was full of make-believe weddings, and I think she even tricked me into playing her husband once. We were kids. We didn’t know better. I still bring it up to make her feel terrible, though.” He smirks. “Anyway, she lives in Brunswick, too. Guess what she does? No? Oh, come on, I just gave you a huge hint. Yeah! She plans weddings for a living. It’s like that movie with Katherine Heigel. You know the one I’m talking about? How she’s always the maid of honor and then she meets that douchenozzle? Yup, that’s my sister for you. 27 Dresses! That’s what it’s called! I watched it with an ex-girlfriend once.” Ethan slides a finger over his throat, mock-slicing his throat. Silently, he mouths, “Never again.” AND YOUR LIFE? TELL ME ABOUT YOUR PAST. I'M EAGER TO HEAR. “Well, I was born and raised in Brunswick. I never left, obviously. My parents were married after a couple years of dating, and I just so happened to pop out of my mom’s nether regions seven months after their wedding.” Ethan held a finger to his lips: shhh. “They were a happy couple, and I was one hell of a baby. My sister was born during my terrible two’s phase, so that had to be a lot of fun, I can imagine. My parents always bought me whatever I wanted. I played a lot of video games when my sister wasn’t forcing me into playing house with her.” “I was five when Sam was born, and I was excited. I was like, ‘man, I have a little brother now. This is great.’” Ethan rolls his eyes. “Sam was such a quiet baby, and he didn’t even take much interest in action figures. He was obsessed with the ‘farm life’ by the time he could jump up on a horse. To each their own, I guess. So, yeah. My parents gave birth to one badass and two losers. But, I guess it’s difficult to duplicate perfection.” By now, Ethan’s smirk reaches his eyes. He’s incredibly amused, especially because the interviewer is absorbing every single word he says. “Needless to say, I was popular all throughout school. I knew everyone. Well, everyone knew me, anyway.” “I started partying when I was a freshman. My buddies and I would fabricate this great, believable story about how we’d all be spending the night at Jake’s house. Then once his parents were asleep, we’d sneak out his window and get shitfaced in some abandoned barn with music cranked up all the way. Those parties were actually fun. I know high school parties get a bad rep, but fuck, man. That’s because people weren’t partying with us.” Ethan shakes his head. “That’s behind me, though. Now I have to enforce the rules I broke as a kid, which may as well make me a hypocrite, but who fucking cares? I’m just doing my job.” “Y’know, given my history, people ask me why I became a patrol officer. First of all, it’s stable, and I care about my neighbors. Keeping them safe is my top priority. Secondly, it’s a stable, practical job. I know I don’t come off as the most intelligent bachelor around, but I do know the difference between bravery and stupidity. The police force has always been smaller than the demand, so why the hell not? And, y’know, the whole donuts thing is supposed to be a bad stereotype, but I won’t deny I stop at the gas station for a maple bar sometimes. And the lights? Me and my partner love just messing with people, especially if we’re missing a football game.” What about a secret? Everyone has a secret. “Cops don’t have secrets,” Ethan says, straight-faced. After a moment, awkwardly being stared down by the awkward interviewer, he raises his hands. “Okay, fine. You win. I’m sleeping with an engaged woman, okay? I’m not breaking any laws, technically. It’s just a fling.” ALRIGHT. TIME'S ALMOST UP. TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DREAMS. QUICK! “I have really weird dreams,” Ethan admits, scratching his head. “Once I was fighting this flock… or mob… or whatever, well, shit, we'll call them a group... so I was fighting a group of zombies with a talking baseball bat. I’m not sure whether I had just ate something weird or someone drugged my drink, but I couldn’t run away from them, and they ate my brains. Don't quote me on this, but I think the leader was even riding a unicorn.” AND THAT'S A WRAP. IT WAS NICE GETTING TO KNOW YOU. “Whoa,” Ethan interjects. “We’re done already? That was faster than I expected it to be. Thanks, man. I appreciate it. Have a good one. alright?” BEHIND THE MASK CHAR | 00 | PACIFIC | LOL | TIFF, HARLS, ADRI, WHIT, KEITH, TASHA, SAM I'm a character whore. What's your problem? |
