Post by lillian peyton hastings on May 23, 2013 21:37:13 GMT -8
| [atrb=style,width: 420px; background-color: efefef; background-image: url(http://i.imgur.com/6jh1H.png); padding: 5px, bTable] LILLIAN P. HASTINGS 21 | HETEROSEXUAL | WAITRESS | LOCAL | DIANNA AGRON THE INTERVIEW HELLO. THANKS FOR COMING IN TODAY. SHALL WE START WITH YOUR NAME? Good morning. I'm Lillian Peyton Hastings, but I've got a few nicknames to go by. Like... Lily, Lils, Lil, Lili, etcetera. Most people just stick to Lily though, because it's easier than Lillian and the other nicknames were for people more like... more like my brother or his friends. Anyone who knows me on a more personal level can get creative with the nicknames I guess. THAT'S A NICE NAME. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING? Thank you... and I'm a waitress at a small local diner and I have another waitressing job at a more upscale restaurant. The pay isn't great and I work mostly off of tips, but it's better than nothing I suppose. Especially since I barely graduated high school and never got into college. I suppose that on some level I'm a little more fortunate than most but I'm trying to work towards something a little more... beneficial? Keep in mind it's not just me I'm working either either. I have Arabelle to take care of too... not that I think you care. Just rambling a little. Sorry. INTERESTING. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN? Uh... I don't really know? Now that I'm a single mom I can't really do much. Too busy taking care of Arabelle and when I'm not taking care of her I'm working all the shifts I can handle without dipping into my time with her. My life isn't exactly an interesting one anymore. Eventful? Sure... but not really interesting. Not to people like you... But I suppose I could tell you about what I used to like doing. That'll at least give you a little more to write down. Back in high school, partying was kind of my thing I guess. My brother sort of dragged me into that whole mess during the end tail end of sophomore year and into my junior year. At first it was only a little drinking here and there, but it was fun so I kept doing it. I used to love doing it actually. Just being able to let go - to feel so free. It was awesome, but I should have known to stop... but I didn't. I kept drinking and going to the house parties. Drinking turned to drugs and substance abuse turned into making poor life choices. I can recognize that now, but I didn't care back then. I enjoyed being a careless idiot because it made my brother and his friends happy. They liked the person I was becoming so I kept up with it. But partying wasn't the only thing I liked to do. I've got a few more layers than that. I used to play softball and I was a part of the reading club. Softball was kind of my thing in high school, but I had to stop playing when by grades started slipping and I lost focus on my grades. It as a bad thing to happen really because then I lost another reason to focus and keep my head level. Didn't have to quit the reading club though, which was nice. After a particularly bad hangover at least there'd be something waiting for me to read. That's one thing that's followed me into my adulthood. I still enjoy reading. The pages are sort of like a temporary escape for me and Arabelle seems to enjoy listening to the stories as well, even though she doesn't quiet understand the words. She's only one, so it's probably just my voice that's making her smile. And that brings me to the end of my answer for this question... Right now the only thing I actually enjoy doing is spending time with my daughter because we're all we've got right now. And it's sad to know she'll probably never have a father or see much of her grandparents... but there's not much I can do about it. Not right now anyway. WOULD YOU SAY THOSE ACTIVITIES REFLECT WHO YOU ARE? Pretty sure I told you that I don't do any of those things anymore... so no, they don't define me as a person anymore. When I found out I was pregnant I sort of stopped doing all of those things because I knew I couldn't be drinking, partying, and being reckless when I've got a baby relying on me. So my pregnancy transformed me into a whole new person. I'll start off by saying that I'm a lot more calm and collected than I used to be. Now I have to think about all my choices because they won't only be effecting me. Arabelle is the one person in this whole world that means anything to me so putting her well-being and needs before my own. I have no problem with bending over backwards to make sure that she has the best of what I can offer her. Becoming a mother has also been a humbling experience for me. Brought me down from my constant high I suppose. I'm aware that I'm no longer invincible and that I'm not better than everyone else. Though... I suppose I never really thought I was better than anyone because my life was pretty pathetic, but what I mean to say is that I'm more approachable now. Before I used to scoff at anyone who thought they could talk to me, now I do whatever I can to listen and help people out because I know what it's like to have no one to rely on but yourself. Guess that brings me to the next little section of myself. Trust isn't something that's easily earned with me. I can't just go around telling everyone all aspects of my life now that my brother is gone... Without him I don't really have any sort of protection from his enemies. Because of his death... I have to be cautious about how I talk to and what I say to them. That's why I'm sort of quiet I guess. Cautious whenever someone new decides to talk to me. But don't take that as me being shy, because I'm not. Perhaps a lot of my old self has changed, but I'd like to think I'm still a little... witty. Keeping up conversations is easy for me because I don't ever really feel awkward with talking to new people, just a little hesitant because I have to watch what I say or talk about. But for the most part, when someone approaches me, I'll smile and chat if that's what they want. Sometimes I can range from friendly to sassy, all depends on who I'm talking to really. Because I am a mother I know how to be caring and considerate towards other people but because of how I grew up, I know how to dish out some attitude to keep people from walking all over me too. I don't enjoy having to be cruel towards others because that's not really who I am anymore, but sometimes I have no choice in the matter. Anyway, not all fun parts of myself have vanished either. Admittedly, I still like to go out and have some fun at parties. Drink a little. After all, I am twenty-one, and sometimes the woman who lives next to me in my apartment complex offers to watch Arabelle for a few extra hours so I can go out. Granted I don't get trashed during these outings because I'll still have to take care of my baby girl when I get home and the morning after, but I'm not a completely boring person either. Let's see... what else? Oh, my life has been full of tragic events. I was born in a trashy family with a brother who had a habit of getting a little rough with me and eventually started a gang that I got dragged into. Then I got pregnant by someone my brother could have very well killed, but he got away, making me a single mother, and then my brother just died recently, leaving me with hardly any money or protection. Yes, that is a pretty bad sob story, but I hate pity and handouts from anyone. I loath it. Don't pretend like you didn't think it too. I'm the sad little single mother with an awful life. Yeah? Well that's too bad because I can't change it now. It just gets so under my skin when people say things to me.... I want to be independent for once in my life. I don't like asking people for help because I want to be able to provide for my daughter and myself so I can get a little snippy at people who are just trying to help. It's awful, I know, but I can't help it. I just want to be able to take care of my own issues... but then sometimes I have to bite my tongue and accept the help offered because there are times when I don't have enough money to care for the both of us. Swallowing my pride is hard, but as I said before, I'd do anything for my baby. COOL BEANS. THEY SAY YOUR FAMILY SHAPES WHO YOU ARE. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOURS? Well, I don't really have a family anymore. My parents are drug addicts that live in the shady part of town in a dirty, broken home. I don't ever visit there or talk to my parents except for once or twice a year. My brother his dead. He died a little over a month or so ago. Can't say we had the best of relationships either... but he was my brother and he helped me with Belle and offered me protection. Now that's all gone though... Then there's Belle, my sweet little baby girl. She's a little over a year old now. She's my main concern in life right now. My everything. I love her to pieces even though I know I'm not the best of mothers... Who else is there? Anna. She's my neighbor in my apartment complex. She's a sweet, older woman. Maybe around her forties. I've known her for a few years now, since I first moved into my apartment. She was there for me when I got pregnant and is one of the few people I really trust with everything and I know she only wants the best for me. I trust her enough to watch Belle while I go to work or when she wants me to go out and relax some. Kind of weird how my best friend right now is twice my age. AND YOUR LIFE? TELL ME ABOUT YOUR PAST. I'M EAGER TO HEAR. I was born here in Brunswick and I've never left. My parents aren't well known because they aren't really respectable people. Just another drug addict couple that takes up residency in the lower class part of town where all the drop outs and nobodies live. My brother was born first but he was only a few years older than me. Two years I mean. So we were both brought up with unequipped parents. They didn't know what they were doing when they raised us because they were high or drunk half the time. At least they managed to raise us until we were capable of taking care of ourselves. Or at least until my brother was able to take care of me. We were pretty close back then. In school he looked out for me just like he did at home. He made sure no one bothered me and kept me distracted in his room from our intoxicated parents in the other. We had to grow up a lot faster than we should have, but things started out okay... I mean we weren't being beaten and we still had some food and clothing. Living wasn't impossible and we made it through. Things weren't too bad in the beginning. I was shy and quiet. Didn't talk much to the other kids because they made me feel nervous. I wasn't raised like them... My parents didn't pick me up from school or pack my lunches. My brother would always be waiting outside my classroom to take my hand and walk me home and he he gave me half of his lunch if I was still hungry. Back then I could have swore he was the best big brother a girl could have asked for... because he was so selfless and caring... I don't know what happened though. Something slowly started to change in him as we got older. In middle school things were sort of the same. He still looked after me. Made sure no one stepped on my toes and was always checking up on me, but he stopped hanging around home as much as he used to which meant I was stuck there with our parents. Tried to focus on my homework and things like that but my parents were so dependent and needy. Had to make sure they didn't accidentally drown in the shower or burn down the house when they were in the kitchen. He'd always come home though, and would help me look over the rest of my homework and would sit with me until I fell asleep. We'd still walk together in the mornings but his friends eventually started walking with us and to be honest... they made me nervous. I could see the way they looked at me and it made me feel uncomfortable. Didn't tell my brother about it though, because I wasn't sure what his reaction would be. Ever since he started taking time away from home, he started to get more angry and violent. I started to see similar patterns between my parents behavior and his. I knew that around the time he was in eighth grade that he was doing drugs. My first two years of high school were alright. I was still quiet but I had decent friends and kept good grades. I was a good girl because I was afraid of becoming something like my parents... but I eventually did become like them. Because of my brother. Apparently he'd sort of started up his own gang and he was making money because of it. He told me one night after school that the two of them would be moving out. She could come live with him and everything would be so much better. Of course I believed him because he was still my big brother and I trusted him. So we got a small, dingy apartment that eventually turned into my worst nightmare. Didn't take long for things to spiral out of control. There were guys over every night getting drunk or high. Homework lost its importance to me and I ended up joining in with my brother and his friends. Started drinking, going to parties, sleeping around... all of it. The gang got more serious. They started dealing, making enemies, hurting people... everything. It was so bad and my brother turned violent. I didn't know who he was anymore but then again, I didn't really know who I was either. Just sort of changed into this addict who did whatever anyone told her to do. If I didn't do what my brother and his friends told me to do... he'd turn violent. I can remember one time he nearly choked me to death. Left bruise marks on my neck and everything... Though he swore up and down he hadn't meant it and would never do it again. Which he didn't, but he still pushed me around when I got in the way. Never hurt me seriously again, but that might because I learned to keep out of the way. Until I got pregnant. That sort of sent us all for a loop. Scared the hell out of me because how was I going to be a mother? As soon as I found out I stopped everything. The drugs and drinking. I couldn't be doing any of that if I was going to have a child of my own. I'd been nineteen at the time. Pretty scary being a pregnant teenager who was stuck in the middle of a gang family, but my brother cleaned up his act some too and went into protective overdrive. He provided for me and made sure I was protected from anyone who might want to hurt me. He made sure I had enough money to pay rent on my small apartment, helped me pay the bills and made sure I had food. He was kind of like the younger brother I remembered he was from way back when... But a year and some months later, he was murdered. I don't know by who but I'm assuming an enemy of the gang or something. I was crushed because now who do I have? It's just me and Arabelle all on our own... with hardly any money and no protection from the enemies my brother left behind. Every waking second is a horrifying one for me but I don't have enough money to run. I can't risk it because this is the only place I can really provide for my baby. Right now I'm just saving up as much money as I can until I have enough to pack up my bags and leave. What about a secret? Everyone has a secret. M-my secret?Why would you want to know a thing like that? Did someone put you up to this? No? Well... uh... People think that the father of my baby died of an overdose. That's what my brother and everyone else told people because I wasn't really permitted to talk about it. That's all a lie... the father of my baby is the leader of a rival gang quite a few towns away. Can't really remember why he was even here in Brunswick but then again, I can't really remember much about him other than the fact that he's a violent asshole. We were at a party together and he slipped someone into my drink, had his way with me, and then when I woke up the next day in some alley, my brother lost his shit when I described the man from the hazy memory I had of the night. I don't know much of what happened between my brother and Riley, but all I know was that he chased the other gang out of here and now that my brother is gone... I'm unprotected and I don't know if Riley will come back looking for me and Arabelle. ALRIGHT. TIME'S ALMOST UP. TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DREAMS. QUICK! My dreams? I guess I dream of finally feeling safe for once... to not always have to look over my shoulder. To get out of the place I live now for somewhere nicer. A better job. A better life to give to my daughter. That's about it I guess. AND THAT'S A WRAP. IT WAS NICE GETTING TO KNOW YOU. Same to you. Have a lovely rest of your evening. BEHIND THE MASK LEAH | SIXTEEN | EST | BOOP | BEAU, DANI, KARSON, NIXON, GIO, AUDREY, LAYLA, JORDAN, KILLIAN  |
