Post by samantha mae petrov on May 20, 2013 7:11:57 GMT -8
| [atrb=style,width: 420px; background-color: efefef; background-image: url(http://i.imgur.com/6jh1H.png); padding: 5px, bTable] SAMANTHA M. PETROV TWENTY SIX | HETEROSEXUAL | HOTEL RECEPTIONIST | COLLEGE STUDENT | SCARLETT JOHANSSON JUNE SIXTEENTH 2002 It happened again, he hit her. I don't know how much more I can take, it's horrible here, I need out. What a great way to start today's entry, huh? I don't even know why I'm still doing these little diary entries, I'm fifteen now, I'm not a child. Maybe I'll look back at them with a smile on my face and sigh, thinking about the troubles I made it through? I don't know, maybe I won't even make it out of this house. oh god i hope I do, if not me then I hope that Fi gets out, she deserves it. Fi's going well, I don't think she realises what's going on really, she's too innocent to see. At least that's what I think, she's such a sweet girl, I don't want her compromised by their actions, the fighting, the hurting, the cursing. It makes me sad thinking about how she's going to grow up, she's been exposed to this from an early age, unlike me this is what she thinks is normal, I can't have that, not at all. I don't know what to do though. Something just smashed, I hope mum's okay. I do love that woman, even if she can't understand that it'd be better for everyone if she left that horrible man and took off with her daughters to start anew and never see him again. it's what I'd do, she just needs to be a stronger woman, I vow to never be weak like her. If he ever comes near Fiona he'll get what's coming to him, he really will. Anyway, I should go, this homework isn't going to do itself. APRIL TWENTY-SEVENTH 2004 |
School is driving me insane, all this work and no time to do it. Sometimes I feel like it would be better if I just gave up, dropped out and focused on helping Fi. She's going well, at least that's the way it seems. I think she's starting to feel the stress of high school. She's fifteen now, just a little freshman, she seems to have a good little group of friends, I like them. I think she tries to block out what happens at home, I know I did, but it's not going to work and I don't want her to find that out. I don't want her to know what he does to me, what I'm afraid he's going to start doing to her. Mum left us, I know I said I wanted her to gain the courage and leave, but she was supposed to take us with her, not leave us behind with that poor excuse for a father. I don't care what our DNA says, that man is no father of mine, he never will be.
I think I'll run away, I don't know. I want to, but I won't leave Fi with that man. I could take her with me but I don't think I'd be able to support the two of us, I care and that's why I'm still here. He touches her though, he'll get what's coming for him and then he'll be left alone.
NOVEMBER THIRTEENTH 2004[/u]
I've let her down. I've failed her. I've gone back on my word. She doesn't know this, I didn't tell her about my vow that I made to myself, in her honour. Oh god, why can't I do it, why?! I need to get her out of here, her life will be ruined, I know mine is. I won't be able to rid myself of the memories, sure the physical bruises go away but the scars that are deep down stay, they'll never go away. On another note, though just as disturbing, I think I'm pregnant. I don't know, I'm two weeks late, that's usually a pretty legit sign right? I don't need this, I can only imagine how Dean will take this, I don't know if I can tell him, I don't want to lose him. This is going to be it for today, I have some things to figure out. My life is going to hell.
JANUARY THIRTIETH 2005
I still can't believe Dean stayed, he's amazing, I don't know what I'd do without him. He's still not that happy that I dropped out of school to have this baby, but this child is my future, it'll be my everything, i know it. I'm so excited, he is too, he'll be a wonderful father, nothing like the man who calls himself mine. I haven't told him about the baby, I haven't even told him about Dean. Maybe there's no harm in mentioning it, he's only going to hit me, it's not like it'll be any different to any other day. It's getting worse for Fiona, I can see it in her eyes. She's started distancing herself from me, from her friends, from everyone, she's all alone. I try to talk to her about what's going on, she knows I understand but I don't know why she won't talk to me about it, it hurts to feel like she doesn't trust me.
MARCH TWENTY SECOND 2005[/b]
I don't know what I'm going to do, I have to tell Dean. He's going to do something stupid, I know it. I don't know what to do. I know I say it all the time, but I think I'll run away, at least try to. That man just took away my whole life, everything I had hope for, my future. One hit and it was gone. I broke down when the doctor told me, she went on to ask what happened, I told her I fell down the stairs, I know she didn't believe me, I could see it in her eyes, hear it in her voice. She was kind about it though, she left it. Maybe I can lie to Dean, tell him I fell down the stairs. He's smart, he'd see right through it. I don't know what to do, maybe I can just crawl into a hole and die.
MARCH TWENTY SIXTH 2005[/b]
It all happened like I thought it would. I told Dean and he went mad, he didn't believe my stairs story so I told him the truth and he went mad. He confronted that horrible man and then got beaten up that bad that he had to be taken to hospital. He's still there now, I visited before, but he was asleep and I didn't want to wake him. I know what I'm going to do now. I'm taking Fiona and running. I don't know where to, but I'm not staying here and neither is she. I know I've said it so many times before, but this time I mean it. I am getting us away from that horrible man, he's done too much damage. He hurt the man I love and the girl I would do anything for. I can't write anymore, I have to pack and tell Fiona what's going on.
JULY THIRD 2005[/b]
It's been a while but I did it, I left and I saved Fi from any more abuse. I managed to get us to Maine, a place called Brunswick. I got a job at the grocery store working the checkouts, it's nothing great but it pays for the roof above Fi's head and put food in her mouth, that's what matters. I miss Dean, I still feel bad about leaving him without much of an explanation, just a note on the table. I hope I didn't hurt him, I know I did though. I feel like a terrible person, i don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself. I need to go now, work soon.
AUGUST NINETEENTH 2006
Life is wonderful, I never thought I'd get to experience a great life. I've been promoted, I am now a manager at the grocery store. I've made friends and Fiona is going great. At least that's what I see. I don't want to bother her with questions, but I do let her know I care as much as possible. We have a wonderful relationship, she's more like a friend now that a sister, which I think is a good thing. We've upgraded, we now live in a decent apartment with a working air-conditioner, it's great. I'm thinking of going to college, but I know I'll have to cut my hours at work and I can't do that now, well I can but I'd rather not. I started taking self defense classes, they're proving to be a lot of fun, learning how to beat guys up, soon I'll be able to protect Fiona like I always wanted to. The instructor says that I'm one of the best in the class, I wonder if its because every time I have to hit something I pretend that it's him that I'm hurting.
JANUARY SEVENTH 2012
I've always turned to you when things happen, you're my best friend, always. Something happened today, I don't know how to react or how to say it. I saw Dean. I know, what the hell is he doing here? Did he track me down or is this just a coincidence? I don't know. I want to talk to him, see how things have been going but I'm too afraid. What if he's mad at me for leaving. I wouldn't know how to talk to him, a lot has changed since I saw him last, I've changed. I'm not the girl I used to be, I'm smart, successful and I can look after myself. I mean, I go to college now, I study law, the old me would never have done that, the old me wouldn't think she'd be able to do it. I don't know what to do. I need a drink.
JANUARY FIRST 2013[/b]
New year! This is it, my final year of college. After this I'll be a lawyer and can do some good to the kids who are going through what I went through. I'll start a support group, anonymous of course. I want to help, people should never have to go through that, no matter who they are or what they've done. I'll never forgive my father for what he did to me and Fiona, just like I'll never forgive mum for leaving us. I know I'm a better person that I was ten years ago. I'm definitely in a better situation than I was back then. I don't know what happened to my father, he never tried to contact us, all this does is show me that he never cared. Oh well. I'm off to enjoy the new year.
a little about miss sammi petrov
Miss Sammi is a lovely girl, despite what people would call a horrible past. She cares about people and will go out of her way for her friends if they need her. She is a tough cookie, she can take an awful lot and she can take care of herself, though at times her emotions can get the better of her. The most important person in her life is her sister, she cares about her more than anyone else. She will do anything to protect her, she would give her life. Despite the hate she has for her father, she isn't one to hate, she doesn't like the feeling, he father is the only person that she will ever truly hate, she may say she hates you but it's not true, she just doesn't like you. It's not really ideal to piss her off, or even annoy her, she has a slight temper and it will go off when you least expect it to, usually she is pretty good at keeping herself calm, but, like everyone, she has her bad days and that is when she loses control and may knock you out of you piss her off enough. With that being said, lay a finger on her sister and you'll wish you never met her. She is a great friend, as I said before, she will go out of her way to help a friend, as well as this, she will also try her best to be there for a friend when they're in need. She doesn't like to get on other's bad side, but sometimes it is necessary. She believes in doing what is necassary even when it's not what you'd rather do. She is an honest person, except when it comes to her past, she believe that the trust must be told but she is the exception to this, so in a way she is quite the hypocrite. [/div]
BEHIND THE MASK
HAYLEY | TWENTY | GMT+9:30 | ALREADY HERE | AMELIA HAWKE, SETH VICTORE
see others? =)
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