Post by jordan rylee slater on May 11, 2013 17:56:51 GMT -8
| [atrb=style,width: 420px; background-color: efefef; background-image: url(http://i.imgur.com/6jh1H.png); padding: 5px, bTable] JORDAN R. SLATER 25 | HETEROSEXUAL | STYLIST | LOCAL | LAUREN CONRAD Entry #1: Written sometime in 8th grade Dear Diary, Is that even how you're supposed to start these things? The whole, 'dear diary' thing? Eh, whatever. Mom said that I should start writing in this thing because she said it would be good for me. Whatever that means. Sooo, school is kind of lame. All the people are jerks. Mostly, anyway. I don't mind the kids in the drama club. They seemed to like me enough, but not so much everyone else. Kind of my fault I guess... I mean, I know I'm kind of weird. I don't mean to be. Sometimes it's just hard to sit in class and be all quiet or to act snobby and perfect like those dumb 'popular' girls do. God, I hate them. Always picking on everybody like it's nobody's business. Well, I'll have you know, diary, that I didn't stand for that. Nope. Some girl named Ashley was trying to pick on this other girl, Emily because of whatever she was wearing. Needless to say... I got a detention for punching her in the face. Let's be real though, she deserved it. I think she did. Mom says this is a bad word... BUT OMG! Some people are assholes. I know I can kind of be one too I guess... I'm mean somtimes. But only to people are are mean to me or my friends. So yeah! That's about it. Uh... later I guess? - Jordan ♥ Entry #2: Written after the first day of freshmen year Oh god. High school is NOT what it looks like in the movies. Like, not at all. Mildly disappointed I must admit. Spent all that time this morning getting ready for nothing. Nobody really cares. The school is just kind of... boring. People walk from class to class, doing their high school student thing. At least my classes aren't awful. Have a few friends in almost every single one of them. Which is good I guess. That girl I punched last year is in my English class. Now that should be fun. I swear to god if she tries anything stupid this year, I won't be so sparing with her face. God, I hate her so much. Like, how can someone be so full of themselves like that? It's kind of disgusting to be honest with you. And then to be mean to other people just because they don't dress as fancy as you do? I mean, don't get me wrong, I like to dress up and look cute, but come on. That doesn't mean you have to be a bitch towards everyone else. Grow up bro. - Jordan ♥ Entry #3: Written during the middle of freshmen year Bleeeeh. Okay, so if there's one thing I really hate about high school, it would have to be all the little couples walking around from class to class. Like... GAG. Ew. I can't stand it. What is the point of it anyway? They're all going to end up breaking up at some point eventually anyway. Doesn't make much sense to me. My mom is always telling me that high school is just a minor part of my life. Most of the people I meet during this period aren't going to follow me into the real world after I graduate. Guess I should believe her, right? Since she's done it before. She also says that relationships are a fickle thing. Whatever that means. I dunno... Like yeah, I get the idea of having a boyfriend can be cute and all. And I'm not saying I don't have a crush on anyone, because I do, but I don't know. I just don't want to get into something that isn't going to last. Mature for my age, right? I'm just scared I guess. I'm afraid of what'll feel like... To really like someone and then it just gets all weird because you stop liking each other. Idk. I'm weirding myself out thinking about it. Got some Algebra to finished. So night. - Jordan ♥ Entry #4: Written near the beginning of senior year ....I don't get it. I'm so confused right now... and so uncomfortable with myself. Like...Why did that happen? It's still hard to talk about... I don't really know what to say. They didn't actually rape me. Almost, but not really. I've been crying a lot lately because of it. Freaking out whenever people touch me. All of that grabbing though... Had to get stitches in the back of my head because one of the girls pushed me back against the wall too hard. They were all laughing. I can remember it all. Fucking Ashley. That fucking bitch. What the hell is wrong with her? She got her disgusting little jock friends to go ahead and practically jump me. Ripping my clothes of. Tried to fight them off. Yeah you can bet your fucking bottom dollar that I did. But four guys against one girl? Odds weren't realy in my favor. So they got most of my clothes off. Touched me with their filthy hands. Kissed me too maybe. I don't know. I feel like I want to throw up just thinking about it. Luckily one of the gym teachers found me before something awful happened... Still. I can't stomach the thought of people touching me right now. No hug or anything. Puts me in a panic now. I freak out. All the time. My mom's scared. Thinks I should go to therapy but I told her I'd write it down. So here I am. Now you know my filthy secret. Not very many people do. It was kept quiet for the sake of the school and the students involved. God. Why did this have to happen to me? I never did anything wrong. I'm a good student... decent person I think... yeah, maybe a little bitter and sarcastic. But whatever. I'm kind of a bitch. But I don't try to get people sexually abused or make them want to kill themselves. I'm not that kind of bitch. That's about it I guess. Going to try and work through this fear. Piece together my mental stability. Which me luck. - Jordan Entry #6: Written after drama club meeting OH MY FUCKING GOD What just happened? Like, I don't even know. I was at just another drama club meeting... you know, all that good stuff. I was just doing some costume sketches and waiting for Miles, my awesome friend - Jordan (who is currently freaking the eff out) ♥ Entry #7: Written some years after graduation Wow it's been a while since I wrote in this thing... BUT GUESS WHA?! Yeah, I'm kind of engaged to the best man ever. I'm not going to bore you with all the details because I don't even think I could keep my hand from shaking long enough to write it all out. BUT I'M ENGAGED WHAT IS THIS?! Never thought this would happen... like ever. Because y'know, I'm so anti-love and all that. My sister is extra happy for me. We're going out today to do a bit of celebrate. Aka were drinking. So fun times ahead! I know this kinda sucks but whatever. I gotta go get ready. - Jordan ♥ Entry #8: Written one year after engagement Well fuck life. And love. Fuck everything. I don't even know what I'm feeling right now. One year of being engaged and then he calls it quits right when our wedding plans started to get serious. Like... I don't even understand. I'm so fucking pissed and I hate him so much. Years of being together and a year of being engaged. Like, what? What happened? He still claims to love me but that he's not ready to get serious yet... or some bullshit that makes no sense to me at all. I've been crying for a week straight now and I just want to die in a hole. But you know what makes it worse? HE KEEPS FUCKING TALKING TO ME! You can't keep talking to your ex girlfriend/fiance. Like no. Just no. Ugh. I can't. Crying again. I need tissues and alcohol and to punch a hole in a wall. BEHIND THE MASK LEAH | SIXTEEN | EASTERN | GAH | BEAU/DANI/KARSON/NIXON/GIO/AUDREY/LAYLA cute  |
